Hey guys, good morning! Welcome to Sunday Morning Leadership. This is Val here. We're going through John Maxwell's The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, and I'm sharing some snippets from it as well as some of my thoughts and reflections on this important leadership book. Today, we're gonna cover Chapter 2: Charisma—The First Impression Can Seal the Deal.
Dan Ryland said about this: "How can you have charisma? Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you're making them feel good about you." And I think that's a great point. You know, most people who think of charisma think of some mystical, almost indefinable quality. They think it's a quality that comes at birth or not at all. But I think we know that's not really true.
Maxwell says, plainly stated, charisma is the ability to draw people to you. Like other character traits—as well as leadership—it can be developed. There's some things you have to know first, so we're gonna talk about these. To make yourself the kind of person who attracts others, you need to personify these points:
Number one is: Love life. People enjoy leaders who enjoy life, right? Think of the people that you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They're celebrators, not complainers. They're passionate about life, right? So the key here really is: If you want to attract people to you, you need to be like the people that you enjoy being with. Think about that. Think about who those people are.
Put a ten on every person's head. I like this one. One of the best things you can do for people—which also attracts them to you—is to expect the best of them. See the best in other people. He says that's called putting a ten on everyone's head, and I like that illustration there. So if you appreciate others, encourage them, and help them reach their potential, they're gonna love you for that. That's an important characteristic.
Number three is: Give people hope. Napoleon Bonaparte characterized leaders as dealers in hope. That's kind of where that phrase came from. You can be the person who bestows that gift on others. They'll be attracted to you, and they will be forever grateful.
And then fourthly: Share yourself. People love leaders who share themselves and their life’s journey. You know, as you lead people, give of yourself. You have to be a giver, not a taker here. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions. And I would add to this—you’ve got to be authentic. It requires authenticity to do this.
So when it comes to charisma, the bottom line is other-mindedness—you're focusing on others and the needs of others. Leaders who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves exhibit charisma. And I’d say there's also a strong characteristic of servant leadership here. We're not talking about abuse of positive charisma.
So here's some points to reflect on as we talk about this. Ask yourself these questions:
- How would you rate yourself when it comes to charisma?
- Are other people naturally attracted to you?
- Are you well-liked?
And this is going to take some self-awareness to answer that. If not, you might possess one of these roadblocks to charisma:
- Pride—you know, let's face it, nobody wants to follow a leader who thinks they're better than everyone else.
- Insecurity—if you're uncomfortable with who you are, others are going to be too.
- Moodiness—if people don't know what to expect from you, they stop expecting anything. So you’ve got to be level in your mood.
- Perfectionism—people respect the desire for excellence, but they resist totally unrealistic expectations set on them.
- Cynicism—people don't want to be rained on by someone who sees a cloud in every silver lining.
So if you can stay away from these qualities, you can cultivate charisma to a large extent.
Okay, so to improve your charisma, here's some suggestions you can do the following:
- Change your focus. Observe your interactions with people during the next few days. You know, maybe ask yourself: How focused are you on others versus yourself? We tend to kind of be focusing on ourselves.
- Play the first impression game. He says, try an experiment: The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make a good impression. Learn the person's name—that's key. Focus on their interests, and be positive.
- Share yourself. Make it a long-term goal to share your resources with others. And again, you've got to be authentic here. Think about how you can add value to five people in your life this year. Think about who those people might be.
Thanks, guys, for joining me today. That's it for the message here. If you received some benefit or something I said struck you in a positive way, please feel free to hit the Vote button. As always, you're more than welcome to connect with me on social media at the links that I'll provide. And join me next week as we look at Chapter 3: Commitment.
Have an awesome Sunday, guys. Be safe and take care!