The gnashing of teeth sprang out like two swordsmen at war,
Their veins protrude with the saying..."I need to win the war",
Their venomous words sting like scorpions.
And I have no ointment to rub.
The feeling was and still is overwhelming,
I can't believe how I got here in the first place,
Moments have passed which made it seem like I don't care,
But the truth is that... The thoughts are more than I can bear.
When the feeling first came in,
I thought it was something I can take in,
Sadly, the words became louder than I expected,
Leaving me stranded like I am not wanted.
It is all hard to take in,
The words clash with each other as they mean it.
And there I was in the middle of it,
Begging deeply for intense help from it.
How wonderful it would have been if I could be helped.
If it were a burn on my skin then it could have been seen.
But the case is so different here,
The fight is with the mind which makes me scared.
Night and day, I stare into nothingness,
Going to work endlessly with little help,
But I am not giving up so I strive endlessly with a tired breath,
Hoping today may turn out to be the best.
I know the mind game is very dangerous,
And I am not planning to play the game,
But it came anyways and I can't shame away,
Life isn't meant to be fair as they say.
Truly, life isn't meant to be fair. And we've all had and still have our fair share. That's what makes it balanced. That's why there is a saying;
"99% of those who smile are fighting a war no one can imagine".
Source
Be kind. You don't know the demons in people's closets.
There are sometimes in life when our lives feel threatened but the threat can only be seen and felt by us and those times are scary.
Times where words fail and the voice cracks. Times when you lost the courage to express yourself. Times the world around you feels gloomy. Times when the fresh air becomes toxic. Times when lots have happened than we can comprehend and during these times... Our mind becomes a battleground.
And it hurts because it is emotional. Your partner may feel it but they can't feel the intensity of it. No one can. Only you can. Just you alone. And that is because it is not physical. The depth of how the cut is can't be seen even with a microscope. This is why being around empathetic people helps.
People who won't mock you. People who will just listen and cry with you. People who will hug you when your words fail. People who will smile to cheer you up because you deserve it. You are at your lowest and that isn't something to be ashamed of.
Having these people makes the toxic air a bit breathable, and that is nice, isn't it?
If you are out there and you can see this. Please know that the world cares for you because you are a gem.
There is nothing wrong with you. Suicide shouldn't be the way out nor depression. The fight will be over soon and you will come out victorious. Stand strong and never give up because you are wanted and respected. The world loves and adores you. You are a rock star.
Don't let the harshness of the world get to you. You never know, you might be at the beginning of your breakthrough.
Still yours truly,
Balikis.
Thanks for reading.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.