Greetings fellow Poets ✍️

Today I turn 29 years old and I feel blessed! My day started like all the other ones, pretty standard. I went to work for a bit, had lunch with my partner, did some more work and finally, we went to dinner with my sister-in-law and her partner. Overall was a chilled day.

Since yesterday I've been reflecting a lot about where I was a year ago and thought that this was an excellent opportunity to share a poem - or two in this case. Today's share is mostly to show you the difference a year had in my life and how it reflected on my mind and my thoughts.

A year ago I was going through the worst phase of my depression, adjusting to my anti-depressive medication. A year ago, my mind was so wrapped and so null that was filled with suicidal thoughts. Not that I wanted them, I pushed them away as hard as I possibly could. No matter how hard I tried, for that 2 weeks adjustment period, those horrible thoughts just kept pushing back and sneaking into my mind.

That little voice presented me with such an "easy way out" of my suffering.

Easy Way Out

This first poem was written a year ago, on 19/04/2022. I think it goes without saying the desperation here was screaming. This was actually the first poem I wrote in my life, originally in Portuguese. Something I thought to be impossible for me to do. OH, life and its little twists, right? It might be something that lyrically and technically doesn't make sense for a poem building, but they were my most inner and deep thoughts expressed.

_{I guess this poem makes more sense in my native language than when translated to English but I wanted my word to be understood by everyone so here goes nothing 😆}

Panic spurts

in the snap of a finger,

My broken thoughts

revealing my frights.

This anxiety that builds within

by constant disorganization.

Is it my mind that stimulates

this fulminating ache?

Where does it come from

That I do not know...

Pieces of me that perish,

but it was I who gave them!

This giving without limits

that I don't know how to avoid,

jumping between hunches

dodging what I have to face.

_{Translated with DeepL (free version)}

O pânico despoltado

num estalar de dedos,

O meu pensamento destroçado

revelando os meus medos.

Esta ansiedade que se acumula

pela desorganização constante.

Será a minha mente que estimula

esta dor fulminante?

De onde é que isto vem

Isso eu não sei...

Pedaços de mim que perecem,

Mas fui eu que os dei!

Esse dar sem limites

que não sei como evitar,

Saltitanto entre palpites

evitando o que tenho de enfrentar.

A new way

Now, a year later, I have stopped my medication and I'm feeling great! I've regained my will to live and I've recently made another poem that I'm especially proud of. I've been to Mexico recently on a family holiday - that's a story for another post - and I've written this poem there, sometime between 6 am while looking at the beautiful sunrise (as you can see in my photo above).

Pensamentos que fluem

como uma corrente,

Ideias que evoluem

A partir de uma nascente.

Clareza da mente

nunca antes vivida.

Cada vez mais se sente

A menina perdida.

Tão bom que é

sentir o potencial,

Talvez tenha agora fé

de que ele é substancial.

A curiosidade natural

que surje da exploração.

Aquela tão essencial

à nova criação.

Sem amarras e preconceitos

nem culpas ou anseios.

Que bom que é este feito

de pensar sem receios.

Thoughts that flow

like a current,

Ideas that develop.

from a nascent .

Clarity of mind

never experienced before.

More and more one feels

the lost little child.

So good it is

to feel the potential,

I may now have faith

that he is substantial.

The natural curiosity

that arises from exploration.

The one so essential

to the new creation.

Without chains and prejudices

or guilt or longing.

How good is this achievement

of thinking without hesitation.