Wandering, being a flâneur was a thing I practiced back in the day. There’s beauty in wandering without any fixed destination but rather what our curiosity led us to. Some of us here are an expert at being a flâneur and for me, I am just someone who finds myself engrossed in this type of practice. In fact, my fascination with the world of Digital Nomad came from that habit, to wander.
Yet for the last 2 years, I find myself stopping, being pulled from the entire world I used to know, a person without any zip code or fixed location. Now, I have a fixed location, less wandering and suddenly being hammered into a place that I am trying so hard to fit in.
“ Are you going to grow old without family and properties or wealth?”
That above is like the basic question that holds me back from wandering again. Mostly said by families that robs away pretty much of my time. But I realized the story and experiences could remain as is. Even writing out our stories here, they’re likely forgotten after 24 hours it’s being published. It’s just like another chapter to be written and to be torn from our life pages. As someone who is a little older now, I realized the need to balance that we have to have something for ourselves but also not shy away from trying new things.
After many years of wandering, I find myself finding the sweet spot between around my family vs away from them.
Somehow, I find it more productive to be away from them and I remember that these past couple of years, my productivity dwindled whenever I am around them or be in the house.
While working from a coffee shop is more normalized lately, but ideally a coworking space is way better than working from a coffee shop unless you have a thick skin.
It’s why in the past, while I rented a smaller room, it was manageable for me to work from outside. There are also dedicated offices especially if you’re living in big cities which helps a lot with conference calls and such. However, now that I live in a small city, having a fixed zip code doesn’t really help me much. In fact, I find myself getting more and more lethargic with dwindled productivity. I could only do that for so long but just as I touched up on a topic that I learned earlier, “ time speaks about opportunity”, I felt like in this small city,I could pass up so many things and even have no opportunities at all.
Sometimes I wonder why I was able to save up much when I was living alone than having a fixed location. It’s intriguing isn’t it? In fact, I felt like by wandering, I saved up more than when I was living with my family.
I realized that when I was a wanderer, I didn’t have to buy gifts, participate in HOA meetings, contributions and several other hidden costs of having a permanent location. More honestly, it is one of the hidden costs of having a permanent location.
When I was on my own, I sent only what I could afford back home and my mom found a way to be comfortable living with it. But now, it’s like I couldn’t even afford to save up. In fact, we had so many hidden spendings that weren't so productive. One in particular is about food.
I think mom is like this everywhere where they always provide you with food despite you never asking for it. When I was a digital nomad, I was more than happy with just coffee and some onigiri. It’s like I felt full without having to try too hard. While being at home,it’s like I keep constantly feeling hungry which perhaps is the downside of suppressing novelty. I had so many double spendings on food which shouldn’t have happened.
For the past two years, I’ve been living with less novelty and this could be the reason why I don’t feel that sharp anymore. Our brain craves novelty and especially someone like me with higher needs for it can feel so unhealthy to suppress the need to wander and seek for more novelty.
When you’re conditioned to constantly move and travel, it feels like something is wrong when you don't do it. But society also shamed me for constantly being on the move when in reality this is how I’ve led my entire life, I’ve always been on the move. I don’t recall my childhood ever being stuck in one place. We always wander or travel almost a couple of times a month to a new place or just some place nearby.
Can you imagine being stripped of that ability? In fact, when my father was still alive and despite all the financial limitations and his health too, we still wandered whenever we could. He was the one forcing us to move around while my mother was the one suppressing it all.
One thing I know, wandering didn’t have to be too expensive. We went to many free places, ate at reasonably priced restaurants and eateries. All that mattered was we got the novelty experience that we always have.
It’s like being a smoker for so long or a caffeine drinker. You’re simply a fiend and addicted to it.
You know, in my case I tried going cold turkey but look at where it leads me, unhappiness.
Tonight, I stepped outside of my home for the first time and I had a clear idea that I was chaining myself to some invisible pole. Though I went outside quite a bit lately, I’ve never been this clearer and realized what a mess I got myself into. But at the same time, the house that I am living now also provides a way for me to dream again and makes me remember that I am still far from the ultimate freedom that I truly seek in life.
There it goes, my late night talk about being a digital nomad vs having a fixed zip code and never wandering again. There should be some balance in between especially if you’re a high novelty seeker like myself.
It’s good to have a zip code but also don’t forget to wander and explore what the world has to offer.