We drove through the high mountains, Panda country. Dense wilderness on both sides of the road. A rare sight in this part of China. I had just spent 30 hours on a train from Beijing to Xi'an and it was factories and concrete jungle the whole way.
Our Driver/ Guide, whatever he was convinced us in the big city they that we must visit one of China's great animal sanctuary's, safe refuge for the vast animals that clash with industrial China everyday. I was excited.
I remember thinking on the drive into the mountains. What a great place to see your first Panda. Right in the heartland of their natural habitat, and to spend time with rescued bears and contribute what I could. I suppose like the Great Wall of China, my ignorance could be seen from space.
After driving straight for about 2 hours we suddenly verged left onto a dirt path and 100ft later rolled up next to a high-concrete wall. It was green with damp.
A dilapidated sign reads 'Institute of China Wildlife and Conservation Association (CWCA). The driver tells us the fee, we pay him and he takes us inside where another small man with beady red eyes greets us and insists we follow him (for presumably a tour of the premises).
The place looked like an abandoned zoo. Overgrown bushes draped over old rusty cages and concrete cells on either side. This must be a disused part of the complex, it was clear we were entering via a back entrance of sorts. I approached one of cells, I wanted to see what might have been left behind from a past time, perhaps tools, information.
'Hiss!' A fucking Leopard... In a moment of panic I fell over backwards. No it can't be... surely not a wild Leopard. There are living creatures in these old cells. My heart sank.
"He is injured, please please. I show the good stuff. No look over there, eh".
It's really frustrating, being who I am, and in these situations having to keep my opinion to myself. I was keen to see what other horrors I might be able to witness, and despite the calamity and shock of the place, both men seemed more than okay with me photographing it
I was led to large bare cage. With nothing more than a single chain suspended from the roof. Inside were about 7 Golden snub-nosed Monkeys, some of the most beautiful and rarest primates in Asia. I'd never seen a look of hopelessness and depression in an animals face quite like the look on these intelligent animals. As I stood and watched and photographed, the one in the image above urinated without even a flinch, it's as if the monkeys mind was gone. Nothing, it was just living out its natural life with no soul.
The story was very much the same when we were shown the Red Panda. A solitary prisoner in a cramped space more suitable for a pet Hamster.
I've seen this look before. It is the same look on the faces of dogs at the pound. They have seen it all before. People come and go, and come and go but nothing ever changes.
Finally we were introduced to the Pandas. There were 3, two standard and 1 Albino. They were insistent though;
"We only have three. Some people will tell you there are more, only three, huh".
The guide couldn't be more suspicious if he tried if I am being honest. So I was certain there were more Pandas, and I was fairly certain they'd been in much worse shape than the 3 I was being introduced to.
I was handed a large rod of bamboo "Please lean over the edge and feed to the Bear, see how strong it is, the most strongest".
Reluctantly I did, I figured the bears get very little attention or care and this was my opportunity to at least look it in the eye and try to apologise. In these moments its important to remember how little you can do to help, you have come willingly as a spectator, in an attempt to be good, but actually you are the bait, the reason it happens, the trade.
Enough was enough. We left the bears to enjoy the bamboo and live out there lives as sad ATM's for this odd and crooked partnership between taxi man and security man. What was this place? It looked like an old Zoo, it was presented as an Institute of Research, but my best guess was they were probably trapping animals, keeping them here and breeding them, general exploitation. And the donations from tourists like me... was sustaining the trade.
On the wander back to the car the guide/ security man lit a cigarette. I watch him flick the butt into the Panda enclosure and smile. I spotted several concrete cells down a roped off path. I slipped away from the rest and got about 3 minutes of sneaky peaks at the hidden Panda's. I counted another 3, all injured, all in terrible shape and locked away deep in dark, damp cages, hidden behind old rags and bush. I only managed one image before I heard them calling for me.
"Where you go? No, not allowed"
"I was looking for the toilet"
"No toilet, time to leave".
And away we went. A camera full of images, a mind full of regret and memories of the sad face of the illegal exotic animal trade.
Thank you for reading, and make sure not to visit this place when your in Xi'an, by any means.
Peace and Love,
Cotton.