CLIMB TO FORGET
I miss climbing. I miss thinking of nothing else than the next step towards the summit and every other thought seemingly lost and forgotten.
It's been a while since I've climbed a mountain. In this post, I'll be sharing with you a climb I did in 2018 when things were rough, emotionally, for me.
I'm not a serious mountain climber. I don't even have a club. But I have a few friends who love climbing. And for all the times I've gone with them, climbing has offered me the chance to forget, momentarily, the problems of life.
An invite from Lyn, one of my workmates, to climb was a welcomed escape from my lonely weekends. Toledo City was the destination, a city south of Cebu (Philippines) that reminds me of dangerous roads, rocky mountains, and mining.
We were joined by Lyn's friend, a local, but none of us knew the route to our climbing destination. I was eager and anxious to begin right away. I wanted to go ahead, discover the path, get lost, get away.
The general direction of the way and the looming big white rock ahead were the only things we trusted that could get us to Puting Bato (White Rock) Peak. But along the way, two children, siblings, asked us where we were going and when they knew, they offered their services to get us to the peak.
I can't even remember their names. They now become cute extras in my memories who we paid in coins after doing their roles.
CLIMB TO SEE
We emerged from the trees and the White Rock mountain was shown in its full glory. "That's what we're going to climb?" I asked myself inwardly. "We often play at the peak," the kids had told us. If children go up there to play, climbing it must be child's play.
I wanted to get a closer look. Was it really that big? How were we going to climb it? How high we must be once we're up there.
We continued with our journey. The peak was clear for us to see and we had our little guides. We got everything we needed. I climbed further to see what was waiting for me.
CLIMB TO CONQUER
The colossal white rock. What a sight! We rested in a clearing amidst the sound of bleating goats. We marveled at the great obstacle we were going to conquer. I knew we were going around the back but how exciting it would be if we 'rock climbed' the rocky side.
The sound of the goats echoed around and our children guides let out a few shouts that also bounced off the rocks and the forest. Tentatively, we followed and let out some timid shouts and screams. But soon, we were screaming our hearts out.
I tried to channel my heartaches into sonic booms but my throat grew hoarse. And superstition reminded me to keep my voice down while in the forest else the 'dili ingon nato' (not like us) were going to 'buyag' (hex) us.
CLIMB TO FEEL
We circled the big white rock and climbed-crawled up the rocky terrain until we reached the top. The climb was short and not that difficult. And there I saw what you'd see if you were on top of the big white rock mountain. I could see the mountain ranges in the south and the mining sites on the other side.
This was it. This was what we came for. The journey is a joy in itself but the destination is where we enjoy and feel the rewards of our efforts. We left our woes behind and we reveled in the breathtaking views while the kids laughed and played around.
The peak was rocky and ended in a cliff. I used to be so afraid of heights but then I realized I wasn't really afraid of the altitude, I was afraid of dying from the fall. And somehow that made it easier.
CLIMB TO HEAL
I crawled to one of the edges and looked down. The fall would be deadly but the fear doesn't mean I'm going to die. I was alive up on that rock and I allowed myself to slowly heal from my pain. There was nothing I could do except enjoy the time I had while I was on sitting on those rocks.
With my feet firmly planted, I looked beyond the edge and the fall, and looked towards the great plains below that were crowded with trees. Power lines appeared mundane supplementing the evidence of humans in the cluster of houses that were scattered around.
Confident and at peace, we explored the peak and eyed a rock formation that we could climb and where we could have our photos taken. In short, an instagrammable spot but a dangerous one.
I dared to go and I climbed the rock formation. It was foolish of me. I still didn't have insurance back then. I could've died and left my family with nothing. Pain ending with more pain. But again, I didn't die. I was alive. And I was heading for more healing.
And there I was, smiling on top of the rock formation with darkening clouds behind me and the harsh sun in front of me. Every photo was either overexposed or too dark. It was the best my iPhone 6 could do.
CLIMB TO REMEMBER
The dark clouds brought light rain and we regrouped to decide whether to return already. We took one last look at the landscapes before us, hoping to remember them when we reach the bottom and go back to our regular lives.
Only the photos would allow me to remember the things I did and felt. Perhaps when I climb the next mountain, I would recall the feeling of being alive and free from the problems of the world below.
We descended the same way we climbed the mountain and it was more difficult because we had to use our feet to steady ourselves. Physically, it was more tiring but mentally, it was easier because we've passed through it before and we knew what was waiting for us down below.
And that's it! I went the deep and dramatic route for the write-up of this post because I thought it deserved to be written that way. At first, I didn't think I would write about this climb but I realized chronicling it would be a sign of growth and acceptance which are some of the things I want to focus on in 2022.
After coming down from the trek, we moved to a different mountain which was completely unexpected. We traveled quite far to start at another drop-off point to another mountain. I'll be sharing about that in Hive too. See you in the next post. Cheers!