Hello, Hive! How was your day? It's starting to get warm these days in my city. The people begin to get used to covid-19 situation, not so scared of it, life becomes more normal now. I think it is good news for those who have already postponed one of their big events in life for the last 2 years - Wedding. Last month I joined 2 wedding parties, my cousin's sister and my close friend. And next month, it could be my sister's wedding. So these days I was so into the happy vibe of all this good news, and I can’t help to dive deep into my hometown wedding’s culture and now share it with you guys. Hope it will bring some information for you. The photos I use in this blog are from my cousin’s sister, she allows me to use it as an introduction of Vietnamese beautiful culture to you. The photos were taken by my friend and me.
Of course, like 2-sided coin matter, the necessity of a wedding is put on the table of any couple who are in love. Normally, after a while of being in a relationship, people consider getting married and live together as a legitimate family with a paper from the government called marriage certificate. Meanwhile, there are some couples who think that the marriage certificate is just a piece of paper, they don’t need it for a happy family life. The wedding in my story follows the former case. It means that the couple needs approval from both the government and their families.
It turns out that from the moment the guy goes down on one knee and pops the question to the woman in front of him is a start of many accompaniments of their both families and relatives later. The wedding is considered as the most important event in Vietnamese culture. And for your information, Vietnam is well-known as a diverse culture with 54 ethics groups, so depending on the habits of specific ethnic groups, marriage includes various steps and related procedures, so what I will tell you below is just as what happens in my family. Please fasten your seatbelt and take a tour with me:
First, Le Tham Nha (visiting each other's home).
It is an opportunity for parents of both sides to meet each other. The man’s family visited the woman’s house, officially asking for the allowance from the woman’s parents to let them continue the process of getting to know each other more carefully before coming to the important step of deciding on marriage or not. In this event, there is no need for a matchmaker and no presents. After this event, the daughter is considered to be a bride soon.
Second, Le An Hoi (Betrothal Ceremony).
The very first thing they need to do is go to the fortuneteller for an advice about the best date and time for these ceremony. They believed that each person has a specific timing in their life. If they can choose a perfect timing for these big event, it could bring some good luck and get rid of the bad luck.
The betrothal ceremony takes place in the bride family’s house. The groom’s family and relatives will come at the time as already predetermined. The bride’s house is decorated with flowers and colorful stuff. It is the official announcement of the two families to their relatives about the next step of their son and daughter. But if the distance between the 2 families is too far or because of some special condition such as covid-19 situation last year, it’s hard for them to celebrate two events on two different days. That is why this ceremony has been omitted, but some main parts are still performed properly and are integrated to the wedding ceremony.
And last one, the most important, Le Cuoi - the wedding ceremony.
The date and time of the wedding day was also chosen from the fortuneteller. For my sister's wedding day, the exact time the groom arrived at the bride's house was at 8am. The groom’s family started early in the morning for the most important ritual. They bring a lot of gifts put in the red trays. These gifts are: flowers, betel leaves and areca nuts, wines, fruits, cakes, tea… The persons hold these trays are also carefully chosen, usually they are single and young. These boys were in formal customs with black trousers and white T-shirts, a small red plastic rose was stuck on their T-shirts on the chest. They made a line and the first position was usually the representative of the groom’s family.
After entering the girl’s house, the groom’s family was invited to sit down at the prepared table. I was the one who helped to prepare the table ;)), did it look nice? The groom’s family presentative would introduce themselves and ask permission for their son to marry his bride. The master of the ceremony invited the girl’s family a sip of wine, by agreeing to take this, it means that the girl’s family agreed with the groom’s family. Then the pride followed her parents out, she wore a red traditional wedding Ao dai. Then they come in front of the ancestral altar to burn incense sticks and pray permission for their marriage.
It was the time for the pride's parents made a speech - an instruction for the young couple on how to live together, about marriage ethics and how to be a daughter in law. After that, the representative of the groom’s family will ask to take the bride to the car to go to the groom’s house. The bride’s family will follow them and attend the wedding party there.
Arriving at the groom’s house, the first thing that they need to do is to be led by their parents and the representative to the ancestral altar to burn incense for the ancestors, and then greet the relatives on the groom’s side. There will be a gift-giving ceremony from both families and relatives to these two birds praying for the young couple to have a long-life marriage, happy and prosperous life and children. The gifts are usually gold jewelry or an envelope of cash.
After the wedding ceremony ended, there would be a party at the groom’s house. They hired a mobile karaoke machine. The guests freely sang the wedding songs on the stage to wish the bride and the groom. In the middle of the party, the couple goes to each table to make a toast with the guests.
At the end of the party, the bride's family will ask permission to leave. The representative of the bride’s family said the last thank you to the groom’s family and wished for the couple. When everything was done, the bride’s family left. The wedding day could be the happiest day for the bride, but at this moment, she may feel so lonely because she now was in a strange house when all her family left.
I will finish my story here. My above words may not describe the full emotional moments that happens on my sister wedding day. But The only thing I know that I'm so happy for her and wish she will have a happily ever marriage.
Thank you for your reading. And see you in my next blog.