Good evening Hivers, how are you doing today? I stopped by to drop this. It's about a day that some guys turned me to a human tambourine, hahaha.
Let's talk about it.
Have you ever received a slap parade? I did some years ago.
I remember those epic slaps I got from anti cult guys in my school, those days. As I am writing this article, that cheek is still paining me. Hahaha
It happened when I was in my third year at the University. One evening, I was to go out in service with a friend, but he called at the last minute to say he wouldn't make it. So, I stayed in my room, playing some tunes and having a little dance-off with a friend in the compound named Queen.
As we grooved to the music, out of nowhere, two unfamiliar guys flung my curtain aside and barged into my room.
"Where's Queen?" they demanded.
"Which Queen?" I retorted.
One of them barked, "I said where's Queen?"
Now, the funny thing was, they were staring right at Queen in my room and still asking for Queen. It turned out there were two ladies named Queen in our compound. One was Queen, my dance partner, and the other was the landlord's daughter
So since they are staring one straight in the eyeball and still asking, I figured that She wasn't the one they were hunting for. So I said: "Let me go and show you Queen's room".
As I came out of my room, I saw that there were more than fifteen boys in the compound.
Some were already saying "Search everywhere for Queen, even the toilet". I knew there was trouble!
So, as I was going to the Landlady's room to knock; so that they can see the second girl called Queen, the other Queen in my room popped out to know what the fuss was about.
That was how one of the guys recognized her and said "That's the Queen".
As I turned around to identify which Queen they'd finally found, I got a mighty slap on the back of my neck, "gbosah!"
"Jesus!" I exclaimed.
But that was just the beginning. Another slap, this time squarely on my face, "gbaa!"
"So the Queen we are looking for was there in your room and you are taking us on a parade in your compound?" they scolded.
"Bros, wait let me explain, there are two Queens in the house", I tried to clarify, but before I could finish the sentence, I got another gbooo, "explain to your grandmother" , that one yelled.
I was already seeing stars. Haha. It was that day I knew that looks are deceptive. All the handsome faces I saw that day that I wanted to explain to, they were the ones that slapped daylight out of my eyes. Who knows if that was where my eye problem originated from. Hahaha
Finally, I heard "throw her into the bus along with Queen". It was then I started crying like a baby and screaming
"please don't take me away. I don't know what Queen has done, but there are two Queens, when you saw one and kept asking, I thought you needed the other one. Please, please don't take me away". I begged.
It was then, the ugly looking ones pleaded on my behalf, that I had just clarified things. That they should understand where the "poor girl" is coming from.
"No, she is hiding cult guys , she is an accomplice". They said. As Queen heard the dreaded words: "cult guys", she asked
"why are you guys embarrassing me?"
One of them landed her a slap and she fainted. Just one hit, what about me that had collected a slap parade of upto seven? I was still standing. Hahaha. Finally they bundled her into the bus and left me alone.
I couldn't believe what just happened and how I was spared. As if I am not in enough trouble already, the landlady asked me, "If this Queen had not come out, were you really going to show them my own Queen?" I just looked at her scornfully. The worst she can do is to tell me to pack out. See me see question, hahaha.
Immediately, I leaped over our fence into the next compound and ran from there to a friend's house to sleep, so they won't change their mind and come back for me. Hahaha.
I stayed there at my friend's for two days before coming back home.
I later heard from Queen that they let her go after she had given them details of how to find her brother whom they assumed was a cult guy and had had done something really bad.
Queen too was advised to go into hiding in case they couldn't locate her brother. I didn't stay there either, I moved to my friend's place. I didn't hang around there at all and Queen didn't have the time to apologize to me for receiving the slap meant for her brother and her. Haha. That experience remains fresh in my mind and it's sad to say that was the last time I saw the beautiful girl, Queen. When I saw the person I was to go in service with, I warned him never to talk to me again till he graduates. Hahaha
Does slap kill? Well, if it did, I would have perished that day. But the grace of God was sufficient for me that day. Hahaha.
The following day after the slap, my life did not remain the same again, the slaps were sizzling hot. hahaha.
I had serious headache, eye ache, body ache, as if I received the slaps with all my body. Hahaha
When I recounted the story to my Dad, he said he was coming to School to report to the School authority. I begged him not to put me into a bigger trouble,hahahaha.
Besides, if all those guys who slapped me lined up, how would I summon the courage to point out the culprits? No way! I just massaged my sore cheek and moved on as if slaps was part of my curriculum. Hahaha!
The slap was bad, wicked and hot. It's been nothing less than 18years ago but my check still hurts from it, sometimes. Hahahaha.
This is a real story, real slaps and the whole slaps happened to me. haha. Well, I have learnt my lesson. I am not ready to collect slap for any one any more, not even if I had a twin. Hahaha.
Did you enjoy reading? What part made you laugh the most?
Thanks for stopping by.
I appreciate.
