Hey, everyone. I am planning to start a new series of written sketches. Let me know if you like so I'd know whether to do more.
President Marshal, a dictator who has been ruling his country for 35 years, was sitting in his palace when his right-hand vice-president Jake charged into the palace with 2 men on his side as gunshots were heard loudly outside.
Marshal: What is the meaning of this?
Jake: Your years of ruling the country are over. I have led a military coup against you.
Marshal: You think you can rule the country? Do you know how much work it is to make agreements with countries?
Jake: Do you think I don't know that?! I am going to run everything just like you did and even better.
Marshal: How?
Jake: What?
Jake takes a second to contemplate.
Jake: I have already taken over the oil fields. And guess what I am going to do next!
Marshal: I don't know, sell it?
Jake: Exactly! Do you want to also guess who I am going to sell it to in detail? Like their full name and what country they stay in.
Marshal: Jake, do you have any clue what you're doing?
Jake: Bitch I said guess who! And give me their full name, phone number, and what time it is good to contact them. Like, if you were still the president, who would you contact?
Marshal: If I was still the president, you'd be executed.
Jake: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. But like, after that, what are the following steps? And also, how would you go around paying people who help you make a coup happen? Especially, if they were pissed and threatening to pull back when you look incompetent.
Marshal: Did you consider any steps after taking over?
Jake: Yes, I have.
Marshal: Well then you probably know that you need to set connections with contractors to make arms deals to supply the army and police with weapons to keep the people restrained. You also will need a media plan to control the narrative. Most importantly...
Marshal's voice fades into the background as Jake finds himself way over his head.
Jake: Alright! Let's say I hire you to take care of these things. But you won't be like the vice-president or even a minister.
Marshal: Agreed, I will take a job as the president.
Jake: Deal! But I get 90% of your money.
Marshal: No, you get 0%.
Jake: Deal! But I attend all of your future meetings.
Marshal: No, you will attend none of them.
Jake: Deal! But I get a pay raise.
Marshal: No, you will get an 80% pay cut for your attempt.
Jake: Deal!
Marshal: Alright, we're done here? Call your men off and hand me a list of people who helped you for execution.
Marshal walks away as the two men with Jake approach him asking "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!"
Jake responds with a smug smile "That's just a lesson of how you can lead a successful coup!"