Hello Hivers! 
So let's get to it.
I went to my elementary school today and boy did a lot of memories flashed back to me. So I decided to write a story about my elementary days. I've got lots of funny memories back when I was still a grade-schooler.
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I went there 'coz I was doing some school stuff for my nephew. And as I was standing at the door of my nephew's classroom waiting for the teacher to give me the school modules, something bit my foot.
"SHIT!" I exclaimed.
When I checked to see what bit me, I saw that I was standing in the path of parading red ants. And then the teacher tells me,
"Watch where you're standing there are ants on the doorway,"
"Tell me about it." I just said.
She could have told me sooner, you know.
God damn ants!
And nephew's teacher.
So I got the modules and went home.
On my way home, I passed by my room back in 1st grade. And I remembered this used to be my classroom so I decided to take a picture of it.
My Sadistic Teacher
I also remembered how sadistic my 1st grade teacher was. She would always carry a stick and hit us in the head with it. Even for no reason.
Well, she's been dead for some time now so I'm not worried about her stick hitting my head, anymore.
Back then, parents were okay with teachers being physical to discipline their pupils. But nowadays, try laying a finger on your pupil and the parents are gonna sue your ass.
We all feared our teacher, Mrs. Virtudazo. Everytime she asked us a question no one would answer, out of fear of giving the wrong answer. 'Coz if your answer was incorrect, its the stick to the head for you.
I think her favorite arcade game is...
Whac-a-Mole.
Just sayin'.
Anywho?
I was her favorite pupil. Not because I keep giving the right answer but because no one wants to answer her question so she would always come to me right after she hits 3 or 4 pupils on her way to me. I was the only one who had the balls to answer her question.
I remember she asked us a question about shapes and this is how it went..
Teacher: Can anyone tell me what shape this is?
Nobody even dared to raise their hand and they were just waiting for a miracle to happen like the question would answer itself.
So she goes through the whole front row hitting every head with her stick and then she comes to me. But I know the answer so I was safe,..
..for now.
Me: That's a square, Ma'am.
Teacher: Correct. What about this?
Me: That's a pentagon, Ma'am.
Teacher: Correct. What about this?
Me: Hexagon.
Teacher: Correct. What about this?
By this time, I was starting to worry 'coz she wasn't going anywhere and she just kept on asking me. Even though I know the answer to this question but I was fearing for my life, in this case my head, 'coz I forgot what the next shape is called so I just hoped she'd ask somebody else for the next shape. So I answered..
Me: Heptagon.
Teacher: Correct! What about this?
Me: SHIT!
What I feared for has happened.
I knew that it started with an "O" and ends with a "Gon" but I couldn't remember it and she was getting ready to hit me with her stick. So I panic and answered..
Me: O-re-gon.
And so she raises her stick, and I just said..
"SHIT!"
..and she hits my head.
So I complained.
Me: Why is it that you're only asking me when there's like 40 of us here?
Teacher: Because you're my favorite.
Me: Why?
Teacher: Because you're the smartest.
Me: Yeah, I'm the smartest alright 'coz all my classmates are morons.
Teacher: There's a reason why it's called the last section.
They put me in the last section during 1st grade 'coz I skipped kindergarten.
Shit Happens
So we were horseplaying inside the classroom 'coz our teacher had to go to the principal's office for a meeting.
And we were running like we've never tasted freedom before, enjoying every second of it 'coz we knew it wasn't gonna last long.
Until one of my classmates, Roel, accidentally bumped into our teacher's table knocking the mug that was on top off the table and broke it.
And all I could say was,
"SHIT!"
Yup!
We were in big trouble.
You could just imagine how terrified we were.
My classmate, Roel, was trembling in fear that he couldn't move so we immediately got rid of the broken mug so that there was no evidence. Hoping that our teacher wouldn't notice that her mug was missing.
So we stop playing and stayed in our seats.
I was worried sick of what teacher might do to me so I just prepared myself for the worst.
And then one of our classmate shouted,
"Teacher's coming!"
Roel was so scared of what teacher might do to him that he shit his pants.
That's right! The guy shit his pants out of fear and the smell was so bad that my eyes sored.
It was as if Saddam Hussein had bombed us with a bio-chemical weapon. The smell was that bad.
And then Mrs. Virtudazo entered the room and was disgusted by the foul smell inside the room. And asked us..
"What is that smell?!"
"Is that SHIT?!"
And one of our classmate shouted,
"Roel shit his pants, Ma'am."
And then chants followed after from our other classmates saying,
"Roel shit his pants! Roel shit his pants!"
This went on for like a minute and the guy was so embarrassed that he walked out of the room and went home leaving a trail of faeces.
So my teacher calls me and said,
"Carlo, go clean up Roel's mess."
And I didn't even complain I just went and cleaned the trail of shit that Roel left hoping that teacher would let me off the hook.
And then teacher tells me to come to her and asks me,.
"Where's my mug?"
So I told her hurriedly,
"Roel broke it that's why he shit his pants."
And Mrs. Virtudazo just smiled.
Surprisingly she didn't hit me in the head with her stick.
I don't know what they talked about in that meeting but I was just glad they had that meeting.
Roel, 20 years later
So I bumped into Roel, 20 years after that incident, and he was now a cab driver. I just finished buying stuff from the market and hailed a cab to take me home.
And I was surprised to see him 'coz I haven't seen him in a long time. So we talked and this is how our conversation went..
Me: Well, I hope you don't shit your pants while driving your cab.
Roel: Why is that?
Me: 'Coz they'd give you a ticket.
Roel: For what?
Me: Littering and public disturbance.
Roel: You're a dick, you know that!
Me: [Laughing] You know what, I'm glad you shit your pants that day 'coz if you hadn't then Mrs. Virtudazo would have beaten the shit out of us with her stick.
Roel: Well, apparently she didn't need her stick to beat the shit out of me.
[Both of us laughing.]
Me: Well, SHIT happens! In your case, literally.
[End of story.]
Thank you for making it to the end of this story I hope you enjoyed reading it.
If you like this shitty story let me know in the comments section.
And my name is
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All photos taken from my phone. All GIFs powered by Tenor.