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So we all know who the boring people are on Hive and if you don't know them then there is a strong possibility that you are indeed the boring one.
Do you drone on about a leaf you found on a walk or talk about take a close up of some kind of caterpillar?
Or how about showing us a close up of your favourite lasagne that looks like vomit on a plate?
Maybe you go on about the Hive price going to $100 dollars with no technical analysis whatsoever to base your theory on other than being a dreamer.
Are you getting the same old comments on your page because of your extremely boring content such as "Nice post"?
Have you gotten writers block from not doing anything with your day bar the old Hive Engagement League/pornhub ctrl tab combo?
If this is you then keep scrolling
WE DON'T JUDGE YOU. WE ARE HERE TO HELP.
Here are some of the things you can do to increase your visitors to your posts. Some are a bit risky but its a dam sight better than being the boring guy/gal.
1. Head over to Discord and join a gang
Join in on one of many Hive hangouts and chat shit with some of the famous people on Hive. You might get an upvote or two listening them go on about how they were a man then sex changed into a woman only to regret it and then changed back to a man again but they are now lesbian. Chats on Discord such as " I can see your personal conflict in your posts" or "I used to be a man woman man as well." Ensure you have the same username on Discord as you do on Hive. Otherwise the ten seconds they spend searching for you will be for nothing as they won't find you and give you a "thanks for listening to my shite" on Discord" upvote.
2. Suck the hole off a whale.
Yes sir, no sir three bags full sir is a great way of getting an good upvotes on your posts. Listen to their crazy ideas and agree with them whole heartedly. If they suggest something make them think it is the best idea since the invention of the Iphone.
Whale:
"I've got an idea! Why don't we spend $50,000 worth of Hive to buy a rally car?"
"It may tank the Hive price in a bear market from all the selling on Binance but who cares. The Hive sticker on the car will more than make up for it."
Boring guy:
"What an amazing idea.Why didn't anyone think of that before? This is amazing. You are amazing. Everyone is amazing."
Whether you bought into cub at its height or purchased a validator node on Splinterlands, no matter how much you lost, always suck up to the uppercrusts. They know what they are doing and after some years you may breakeven.
3.Start a row.
The witnesses don't read posts anymore unless you are targeting them. And with them comes a flood of lunatics that are targeting them as well. However history was written by the victor and not many Hive arguments ended with the little guy winning. Before you know it you will be on Blurt chatting to some old war veteran about the Covid vaccination and Bill Gates. Best not to go down this route but it will give you notoriety which is certainly not boring although your comments may be muted. On the plus side you can sniff out an argument a mile off, and take over a whole thread but people will soon just ignore you. This is a tough one to master. We recommend hefty wads of Hive power from boring posts before you come out of yourself. Another thing to do is pick on someone with less Hive power than yourself. Everybody loves some drama on Hive whether it is a whale against a whale or a minnow against a minnow. You will get more views and opinions if you become controversial. You may lose a couple of snowflake followers but that is fine.
4. Pretend to be a Hive Siren.
The good looking females on Hive are famous for getting more upvotes and curation in a nice bikini number on a sandy beach than Mohammed publishing a post eating risotto with a couple of his moustached friends in some hellhole. Ditch the squalor in Mozambique and pull a Talented Mr Ripley on Hives ass. Turn into a hot young blonde Katy Lee travelling around Europe. You will earn more in liquid Hive in a day than you do in a week as a basketweaver in Maputo and the curation will be flying as well for middle age white guys buying your ticket to Hivefest. In the end ou can hire someone to basketweave for you while you edit photos of beautiful beaches and research locations that you will visit in your next post. Get creative and flash a side boob to get into treble figures.
5.Write Factual Technical Analysis On the Hive Price.
In truth nobody knows what price Hive will be in 1 year / 5 years or even if it will still be around. Or if the witnesses had a falling out and hard forked to another platform called Jive. We have history of this by the way.
Nobody is writing Hive posts around where we are right now at 29 cent rather than where we will be in 5 years. It will get many more upvotes than the latter. We all know Hive is excellent and it's the only platform that is building this and doing that. But the price is in the toilet and the highest we have ever been is a paltry $3.41 so we need to take a step back from Hive and ask ourselves why didn't it rocket like everything else back in November 2021??
And everything else did rocket. Even projects that were not even up and running yet. They went past Hive like a dart. This was during the height of Splinterland's mooning. The game was one of the first NFT markets around and that took crypto by storm. It was on our platform. And we only mooned to $3.41. If people posted why we only ever got to $3.41 and not more then I am sure it would receive many upvotes and curation. So is our demand too low or is our are we selling too much Hive on the market?
It would be nice to know rather than conjecture. If Hive is decentralised then there needs to be more debate around where we are going long term. Maybe a few arguments without downvoting. A few truth bombs and calling out the people steering the ship. Nothing personnel. Just peoples investments in crypto.
6. Form a Community
All the best ones have been taken but if you can find a little niche community then you can get quite the following if you hit it right. So jump in and set sail and form your Pimple Poppers community. Publish a few starter posts by popping a few of your own yellowheads. Within a couple of days , you may get more people popping there own pimples and all of a sudden you are the king. You launch the pimple token (PIMP) and give (PIMPS) to the longest projectile pimple pop and never look back.
7. Pretend to be the most vegany vegan gluten free King/ Queen of the Vegans.
How do you know someone is a Vegan? It's the first thing they tell you. So pretending to be a vegan is curation gold. If you went to Tenerife on holiday a fellow vegan will say they went to Elevenerife. Cook up some fake post about the blandest cardboardy snack you choked down you and sure enough the vegan/ gluten free mafia will appear on your timeline with a more cardboardy recipe for bread that would bounce off a wall. Maybe write the post while eating a big juicy burger or steak for have that grin on your face when the comments come in. It makes the rewards that come in a week later all the more juicy.
So there you have it. Leave the long boring posts behind you and get out in the world. Form a Community, pretend to be a hot chick. Take on the whales. We hoped you enjoyed this guide.