I no longer want to be a doctor. Everyone is now. And seeing how almost overpopulated the field is, why should I add to the crowd? I should probably go for fishery or forestry or agriculture. They're equally nice fields. I could never go wrong with those.
My mum is a doctor. My dad is too. My neighbours and friends and relatives all are. Don't smile please. You're already beginning to admire me right? You should stop already. Cause, all of these people barely have formal education. The ones who did were never medical students.
For the most part of December, my dad wasn't feeling too well. Like me, he mostly suffers only a headache but more frequent than myself. He has a habit of running tests but I did not think it was enough. Seeing a doctor should be best. When the rest result comes out, he proceeds to a pharmacy to ask for drugs based on the result.
I did not like it. But in his words, ".. it's malaria.' I'm not surprised as it isn't common for someone(read as Nigerian) to just wake up one day and say, "it's been a while since I last treated malaria" then proceeds to get anti-malaria. Here, we love malaria. You have a headache? Malaria. Fever? Malaria. Muscle pull? Malaria. Missed your period? Malaria. Catarrh? Malaria. Chest pain? Malaria. Every symptom or ailment, we believe is an effect of malaria.
Go ahead and complain/tell your friend/neighbour how you're feeling and that trader or lawyer or farmer or carpenter automatically feels himself a physician. What you'll hear is, "..that thing happened to me too o. I used Dr Agnes Nwama and Agbo(herbal mix) one shot in the morning and at night. Before I knew it, the sickness vanished."
See, it's the confidence of these friends that assume the the role of health personnels that unnerves me.
One time, an uncle whose family I had gone to visit for a while was a little under the weather- not in my opinion - he visited the hospital and was given medications. I guess that wasn't enough for him or maybe be needed quick recovery cause when this friend of his and him were talking, my uncle described his health challenges to him, the man told him to wash and boil sour-sop leaves and drink the water once a day. Guess the man's profession? Nah! It's not what you're thinking....He's a police officer.
Did I mention that I made ginger and garlic mix drink daily for him and he took all of these daily; medication from doctor, ginger/garlic drink and sour-sop drink.
To make matters worse for himself, he'd always ask me to google his symptoms. Trust google nah...t's either he had kidney failure , blood whatever, a terminal disease or just about 12 days remaining to live.
It was annoying then as much as it was hilarious. His son would laugh about him being very generous at such time because, in his words, "...him de fear make him no go hellfire if him die (...he's scared he wouldn't make heaven if he drops dead due to the illness)
Really, I have no problem with all of these ones. What annoys me most is that someone will visit a pharmacy without a prescription, but as a better option, rather than state the health challenge so the pharmacist helps, they'll just request for typhoid and malaria drugs. You'll hear something like this;
"...give me malaria medicine"
"Tell me, how you feel, so I'll know what's exactly wrong and the right drugs to give"
"Forget that thing. Na me the thing de worry, na me tell you say na just malaria snd small typhoid. E don tey wey i treat am. I know my body wella("Dont tell me that! I'm the one who's ill and I am telling you that what's wrong with me is just malaria and a little typhoid. It's been a while since I treated both. I understand my body chemistry.)
To make matters worse, theyll add,
"abeg add that small yellow medicine wey dey de three and, make e no cost pass 500 naira o"(please, add that little tablet that's yellow and in groups of three and, everything shouldn't cost more than #500)
Phew!
Do you know that Nigerians know accurately the components of - don't mean this but in a way, I am correct - and have every anti-malaria drug at home? I sometimes wonder if there are patients at the hospitals.
One ailment, your typical Nigerian shows up with Panadol, ampiclux, and chloroquine to the rescue. Or even one weird looking drink they bought on the bus and are convinced can cure; typhoid, gonorrhea, staphylococcus, ulcer, toothache, asthma and a host of other illnesses. Like? Just how? I am tired of us.
And you know what? I don't know how but somehow, it works for us.
I won't even lie, if you feel unwell and you tell me, na malaria I go tell you say be your problem(I'll tell you that you're down with malaria)
See, I know malaria has done us detty o but, e don too suffer for our hand too. Pity am!
Also, sometimes, most times, e fit no be malaria or typhoid(it may not be malaria)...e fit just be hunger(it could just be hunger). Try chop first abeg!
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!