"Hey bro, I got good news!!"
"What's that bro?"
"I'm so excited, 
"Wow isn't he the admin?"
"Yeah!, That's a clear sign that my post is going to be submitted for an ocd upvote, I'm so excited"
Few hours later.
(Opens PeakD sees 20 notifications and excitedly opens them)
"Why your face looking like an expired milk?"
"I...think something's wrong"
"Where?"
"On Hive, I think there's a manual error"
"That's weird"
"Exactly what I said!, It's been 2days and my post still hasn't been upvoted by ocd"
No matter how much we'll try to deny the fact, sometimes that tiny little bit of upvote really goes the extra mile to lift our spirits. When you get a good upvote you're happy and when you don't, well, there's obviously a big mistake somewhere, a minor glitch or something, especially when you see another post that just isn't up to standard being voted, hehehe, it's so frustrating and I don't know if I'll ever get used to it though, that adrenaline that comes with that anticipation is you know...we all just want money.
Two minutes
It's been two minutes now since I started writing and immediately I noticed it, I stopped dead in my track. I've always had nothing against the letter 2 or anything related to it until...
promise you'll not laugh at me
At the last lodge I'd stayed with my very good friend, there was this girl he wanted so badly, she was fair, beautiful, had this thick thighs and a very huge ass with the right amount of boobs. I must confess, I didn't actually take notice of her ( of course I did!, But man I thought she was way beyond my league) at all untill one night when I got added to the group created for lodge members. I didn't take time, searching for the number of any that sparked my interest and I found her.
The holy spirit filled me with grace and I texted, few minutes later I got a reply and then we went on talking for while. Next thing she's asking me to come to the balcony, I raced there but we didn't really talk, turns out she's the shy type, so we're standing right in front of each other and we're texting.
You have the most beautiful smile in the world, I typed (I never really seen the girl smile) and she did smile immediately I sent it. Then we're in her room next playing a game it's called Ludo (don't be ahead of yourself) and it was fun, she was pretty happy. We went on like that until one day she asked me if I'd ever had sex before, you should see my reply, told her even ronaldo didn't even come close.
Turns out that Ronaldo didn't actually come close because the moment I entered, I came out watering tears all over the sheets ( fuck, I'm bad at lying, I already released some tears in her) and the most embarrassing thing is I didn't last more than two minutes. Checked the time before we got in and checked it right after, very comforting discovery.
Want some bear?
It's embarrassing to talk about my bear experience, I grew up seeing grown ups shine their teeth in satisfaction after taking a sip from a glass of beer. I'd always had that image in my head and I'd always wanted to be grown up so I'll also have the sorta fun they usually had.
First time I tasted beer, I almost had that same feeling God got when Adam tried to blame Eve for tasting the fruit. It was a silly feeling and immediately I finished a glass, my guys had the most beautiful smile on their faces and i didn't even know when I smiled. Then at one party a colleague offers me another bottle, have you ever seen a child being forced to eat food he doesn't like?
Well, I guess that's exactly how I felt, but I didn't stop, I was so determined to be a grown up. I ended up sleeping in the toilet while taking a potty with puke all over the floor, so much for being an adult. My colleagues still have a good laugh off that one whenever we're out.
But that's even better, last time I had beer was on my birthday, I knew I was screwed when I started to count days to my next period, I even had to check if I had extra pad. I ended up being carried home by a girl and left a trail of puke on the road. Feels good to picture the grown ups sharing a bottle of beer and being so happy.
I think I lied
Some days back I made a really great post and I was sure it was Hive material, you know it had all the ingredients of a great story. I was ready to publish when I got a notification on facebook, I decided to check it out and my God!
There was a lot of Vawulence going on and content creators were at the center of it all. Apparently, one creator actually made a very relatable post about his experience with his last girlfriend and it was so touching that a lot of people actually felt bad for him, you know genuinely untill one guy immediately pointed out that the story wasn't a real life story, that it was made up.
Then it immediately felt like everyone came out of their spell and started condemning him for actually lying to them. I was dumbstruck because it was actually a very beautiful story, like if I was him I'll join Hive immediately and make money of such content...oops
Well, I'm sorry for breaking our cover, but not everything we actually say here is true, sometimes we make it so believable and relatable that even elephants would cry after reading it. I was touched though, enough not to post that content again, instead I created an entirely different post, this time the lie was a lot better than the last one.
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it or it connected to you in a way, I invite you to drop a comment, I'll be glad to reply and Upvote for more content ❤️