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Sometimes we don't get what we always want. I could remember one time in high school when this new girl joined us. She was beautiful no doubt but what actually drew me to her was how smart she was and coupled with that she had an amazing voice, I was immediately charmed.
I did everything possible to get her attention but to no avail, I even sent her secret messages and didn't get any reply. Then one day, she needed help drawing Amoeba and her friends had nominated me to be the best at anything Amoeba related. So she walked up to me with the prettiest smile ever and asked me to draw for her, you should have seen my eyes beaming with so much joy.
I ended becoming her drawing contractor, I ended up engaging in little conversations with her and even got paid in hugs, damn she smelled so good. This went on for a while and I was pretty sure she liked me and then one day I summoned the courage to ask her how she felt about me. She didn't abruptly say no like you're thinking but she used me to get my other handsome friend.
It's sad but I learnt my lesson and I'm willing to help you learn too. I know how much it hurts to make perfectly constructed comedy posts and not get upvoted. Sometimes of you have shared really funny posts, very hilarious content but I guess Ocd doesn't find them funny enough, hehe. But not to worry, I'll be sharing my secret tips with you. So far so good I've had four entries adding this one and two have been upvoted, isn't that genius?. Here are some tips:
Make it really personal
There's nothing as funny as sharing your own funny experiences. It feels good to just sit and read about how someone got humiliated or how stupid someone has become, it's the best comedy post you can make and don't forget to make it very personal.
Tell us about that day when you got pressed in public and had to go shit in the bush and didn't use any tissue. Tell us how your friends convinced you to buy a coin with all your savings and it crashed almost immediately. Tell us about how you got thrown out of the class for being too handsome.
NB: stupid things actually sell the most
Talk about Boobs
This is a very important tip. Boob is life that's why babies, young men, old men and even ladies can't get enough of it. Everyone, including Ocd had to suck one at one time in their lives, so this is a perfect strategy to get that upvote.
You can talk about how you started to feel some itching and had to take off your bra. You can describe the last boob you saw and how much it spoke to you. Whatever the case may be, you have to be quite adventurous.
NB: Not all heroes wear capes
Use Eye catching images
A good looking first image actually draws the reader in, wether you like it or not, human are moved by visuals that's why y'all watch porn. I'm not asking you to go use a nude image even if that'll surely earn you an upvote but you have to be creative about it.
You can make use of very stupid Gifs, like I said before, stupid things sell. Or you can use images of dogs (everyone loves dogs), or one of a weird boy peeing on a bowl, or one with Jesus in it (this works every time), or one of you and your sibling looking so cute, or one of a fellow giving out a funny face. Whatever the cash may be make it eye catching.
NB: I dislike black socks because no one knows if it's actually dirty.
Always Tag the admins in your post
You'll thank me for this later, I promise you. Never ever forget to look for ways to tag the admins 
Why? You may ask me, well they're the ones who wield all the power, they get to decide whether your post is funny or not so you'll have to ensure they even get a chance to see your post.
NB: The only way to the top is through the front door
Always go out of context
Why the hell are you being so straight forward when you're making a comedy post?, It's going to get boring. Every wants to get relieved off their worries, they want to forget what worries they've been going through like when
You can keep going in one direction and send them going in the other direction like when Kelvin Hart got kicked out of the play in the movie Spy Next Door, it was certainly something I couldn't ever forget.
Connect your posts somehow
You can actually have them in different parts like the Nigerian home videos (movies), you can have part 1, part 2, part 3, when the admins have seen how hard you've worked they'll surely upvote all those posts, take it from me.
Avoid writing few words
Always try to exceed 1000 words when writing a post. This is a criteria set by someone important to get upvotes, so try not to write below that mark, if you're able to get your post word count towards 1000, you'll get your post upvoted really well.
NB: The race is not for the swift in heart.
Engage
This is the most important tip of everything listed here. Make sure to always check out other authors, you'll be surprised what you'll find, a rat stealing fish, a stereotype that believes when you cross a pregnant woman's legs her child would look like you. They're quite a lot of things you'll find and it'll in some occasions inspire your own post.
After trying out all this tips i guarantee you that you'll not get any upvotes, so I'll advice you not to even go through the stress of reading this post because at the end of the day getting upvotes don't matter all you need to do is have fun and keep having fun till you have nothing on your portfolio.
You too can join in this contest and get the chance to win beautiful prizes..
Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it or it connected to you in a way, I invite you to drop a comment I'll be glad to reply and Upvote for more content ❤️