The recession is coming.
Again.
At this point, most 30 year-olds have seen two recessions. They are more likely to come across a recession than the love of their life.
People are also being shunned by another shun - inflation. While searching for dumb and creative ways to budget, people use the same old ways suggested by underage TikTok users.
But the best lessons come from global traditions and poor people. People like me.
Here are some ways to save money from around the world.
1- Go Bananas - In India, often times we use banana leaves as plates. Which gives your dishes a unique edible, non-plastic flavour. Bonus: You don't have to do any dishes! Put it in your ever-neglected kitchen garden and use it as compost.
Another thing we do is get hold of our spouses old t-shirts and use them as rags to clean our place. This leads to them being topless in a warm climate, saving you money on buying those posh rags that come for $1 for 3 rags. Why spend money when you can infuriate your better half and spice up your marriage by demeaning their clothing?
2 - Sample plan - Many industrious women in countries like Korea not only purchase their holy grail product but also bag a tonne of samples of products that form a part of their skincare routine. Watch women squeeze the last drop from these little packets like a bodybuilder setting their benchpressing record. You can also use bricks stolen from your neighborhood construction to brute force and get the most bang for your no buck.
3 - Le Picqenique or the picnic in France, is the preferred mode of spending quality family time for frugal parents. Instead of staring at your phone in a crowded restaurant with overpriced food and avoiding any heavy topics , the same is done in the lap of nature.
The cherry on top of this homemade cake is that the food is also what you eat every day, but this time you're eating and complaining under a tree.
4 - Personality shaping - Instead of counselling or therapy, many countries around the world have a cheaper alternative to raising kids.
In Punjab, it is called the chhitar
In Mexico, the chancla
In the Philippines, the tsinela
In the middle east, the shibshib
The list goes on. In normal parlance, it is known as a slipper.
While I don't condone violence against children, having the threat of slippers flying around did make me study Math quicker as a kid. Most moms are precise enough not to hit their child, but the children have the fear of the slipper hanging over their heads.
5 - Udder options to fossil fuel - Bio-fuel - In south-eastern countries like Nepal, cow dung is used in many ways. If Andy Dufresne could crawl out of shit to get his freedom, then some people can even work with shit to get their financial freedom.
Cow dung is dried and used in traditional stoves as fuel. No gas bills; the only thing you need to do is run after a cow to get shit done.
This blog is just for comedy. Please don't take it seriously. Images made by me on imgflip.