I am usually a very happy human being who doesn't really allow external forces to dictate my happiness. I smile every time I can, it doesn't matter if someone just died, I still smile, after all the world is overpopulated. I have come to the realization that it is very easy to be happy especially in a country like Nigeria where no one respects the law. I once beat the traffic light and the policemen on duty caught up with me only to congratulate me on my driving skills. I replenished their car and human tanks and they were more than happy that the day's job was done.
But in the last few weeks I have seen how the whole system has tumbled upside down. Things have gotten so bad that our legislators who normally see the legislative chambers as a cosy resting place for their overfed paunches have been up and doing, enduring sleepless nights.
But my real problem is with Nigerians, especially students. I mean I walk around the campus and I see these people strolling in twos, laughing and smiling sheepishly. Like why are you happy? Am I the only one suffering in this country?
First of all, fuel prices have skyrocketed with more than 100% increase, transportation prices now cling to our throats like an asphyxiation mechanism bent on depriving us of oxygen, and the worst of all is that you first of all have to use your money to buy your own money before you can then go ahead to buy other things. Then the icing on the cake is the Valentine celebration on the horizon.
So tell me why are you guys smiling? Walking around with antelopic neck lengths and baggy trousers that makes you look like a mistake of a creation while these ladies slowly drawing on you like a bitch at a bar drinking soda and waiting for her blind date, not knowing if he'll show up.
Lets not even talk about the lecturers who are still being owed 8 months' salary, constantly venting their anger on you with unnecessary assignments and exams and making sure that your school days are a preamble to your hell days. Yes I said it, you're all going to hell, you fornicating lot. I wonder what would have happened if Jesus was to be born in this era where there are no virgins anymore.
And talking about exams, I ran into 
For me, it's a matter of insecurity and distrust on the part of the teachers. If you cannot trust your students to understand your teachings, then don't be a teacher. And if your students end up failing your exams, then it clearly shows incompetence on the part of the teacher. Such a teacher should repeat the class while the student moves on to better things. You can't hold a young prospect down because of the incompetence of a mere teacher.
That's how I got to talk to this girl whom I've been crushing on few days ago. She was surprisingly receptive of my advances that I got really comfortable with her. We talked about almost everything till we got to food. Being a soft girl from a well to do family, she's used to eating half slice of bread with a teaspoon of tea.
There wasn't any problem there until she started talking about eating rice with fork. Being a guy from the trenches, I could not relate, so I started arguing that I can't eat rice with fork when there's spoon. Then she said something about me not being able to eat with her mom. That was when I told her that
"If I ever had the opportunity to eat with your mom, I'd use fork with her"
Well, our network was bad when I made the statement and then she dropped the call. The problem now is that I've been trying to reach her for days now, but to no avail. Just yesterday I ran into her friend who then told me that she had blocked me. Shocked, I asked why, and the answer I got was
"Because of the statement you made the last time you guys talked". She then showed me their chat. Apparently, what my crush heard was
"If I ever had the opportunity to eat your mom, I'd fuck her". Being that I talked dirty a lot with her, this sounded so like me, but it was unacceptable to her. I don't even know where to start my explanation. No cash, no fuel, no crush and the sun is smiting me by the day, everyday.
Now you see why I'm angry. To cap it all up, I've been booby-starved throughout this year. The last one I touched in early January felt like a pimple, I almost popped it. I wish I could be like 
So why are you guys really smiling? Cos I can't relate and I see no logical reason a sane person is smiling right now.
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