We go on and on about how humans are on top of the chain, but there's no animal with a sweet dating life like the male lion.
The dude literally has a lot of females around him, which I must say is every guys dream.
He hardly goes to hunt, because the lioness do most of the hunting and he still gets to eat his fill. I believe that's a perfect example of on top of the world.
As if that's not enough, he gets to make a bunch of babies and all that's required of him is the occasional roar, stroll, lots of sleep and he still gets to be boss.
I don't know about y'all, but it seems this guy has a better love life than I do. I don't know about making babies, but if I ever get a relationship with lots of free food I'm most definitely not leaving.
Sometimes you're on those animal channels like Nat Geo wild and after a time of watching animal behavior, you begin to create crazy scripts to fit their lives into human society.
You start to imagine what if that lion chasing the deer isn't interested in regular meat, but the other type of meat ðŸ¤(you didn't hear it from me).
There would probably be a young antelope who didn't fit into antelope society. She feels like the other antelopes in her society are not male enough and she wants the grass on the other side. On her wanderings she meets a young lion who has been chased out of the pride by his old man, one look at each other and it's love at first sight.
You have a conversation like:
Juliet, you know what I feel for you is strong. Nothing can change my love for you, but I fear your parents will not accept our Union.
Oh Romeo I've told you over and over again that it's either you or no one. My parents will have to respect whoever I've chosen. I'm more worried about your own parents.
Babe that's not an issue. My pops is already disappointed in me as it is and I don't care about his opinion. My mum is kind-hearted but I fear she's a traditional lion at heart.
This is exactly what I fear, the problems we would face today and tomorrow. Also the stigmatization the offsprings from this union would face, how will they cope with our society.
Romeo the lion eventually convinces Juliet the antelope to take him home.
Juliet my daughter, how dare you bring the son of our enemy into my home. Do you realize how much we've lost to his family
Juliet on the ground kneeling and pleading with her father
Oh father, please forgive me. But my Romeo is different and he loves me dearly
After much pleading by Juliet, her father signals Romeo the lion to have a private conversation with him.
Look young lion, Romeo or whatever you call yourself. I don't know how you brainwashed her but we both know you only want my daughter for your selfish reasons.
No sir, I know you might not believe this but I truely love your daughter even more than life itself.
Young lion shut up. I won't listen to any of your nonsense, so I'll give you a choice. I'll offer you our most beautiful antelope and you'll forget about my daughter
I'm sorry sir, but my love for your daughter is worth more than even a thousand beautiful and well nourished antelopes.
They both go back to join Juliet and the other antelopes. Juliet's father announces that indeed Romeo is a man of true character and truly loves his daughter. Hence, he would support their union.
Romeo now has to convince his family to accept Juliet. And the love story continues.....
I don't know about you but if something like this airs on Nat Geo wild, I'll definitely go into Rihanna's dm to finally shoot my shot (Oh I almost forgot, she's already in a relationship).
Looks like there's no love for me just yet, except maybe she has a twin sister that looks just like her.
Like I said earlier even these guys have a better love life than I do, it's a pity she doesn't know what she's missing.
I would've eaten whatever food she cooks. What's the best way to show unconditional love than eating all the burnt meals, because not everyone is willing to do that for you.
This post is a submission to the Paritae blogging competition "Dating Chronicles"
This is on the comedyopenmic community and you're welcome to join.