The COMedy Rumble: Loo-dicrous
I've always suspected that toilets have their own dark personality
The thing is that :-
No matter how hard you clean them they prefer to be dirty
They particularly like to be dirty when unexpected guests arrive.
When you have guests they misbehave and will never, ever flush properly
As a corollary to the above(3), they never flush properly when you’re inside and guests are knocking on the door.
They jinx the lock on the toilet door, on purpose to show their power.
Additionally, there are other weird and wonderful toilet facts :-
Loo paper is never in the loo because it’s having an argument with the toilet about supply and demand.
The toilet brush thinks it’s a toothbrush and should only be used on enamel (unfortunately, no newish toilets are made of enamel theses days, so the brush is always on strike and can NEVER be found)
The toilet duck likes to swim away.
All fragrant toilet “baskets” leave their mark on the side of the loo so that you don’t forget to buy them in future to hide the yellow stain.
Grannies like to knit things for the poor sad loo. All grannies like to do this, and then they visit you, on purpose, just to see if you’ve added their decorative artwork to the loo paper (which, obviously, you can’t find in the first place, even if it means saving your hide)
Magazines are much more interesting in the loo and that’s why it’s alway occupied when in demand. (The moral of the story here is that you should go digital and ban those damn pages out of existence)
Toilets always prefer small confined spaces so that they can develop the resonance of their unique perfume.
A toilet’s true soul mate is always a plumber who demands a dowry, of sizable proportion to seal the deal.
Even the plumber can’t seal all the escape hatches, all of the time, so someone will always leak word of a stinking scandal.
Friends like to buy matching lid and rug sets for toilets to keep them cozy. They gift these to you, believing that toilets like fuzzy, woolly, loopy covers in shades of pink and lavender. This often results in a flooding gush of rejection on the part of the schizophrenic loo and it’s not an easy mess to clean up.
Of course there’s only one solution but exorcists are so frightfully expensive these days.
COMedy Rumble is supported by Listnerds https://listnerds.com/thisismylife