When I was younger, I constantly wished that I was an adult, maybe it was because I was a caged child who wanted wings to fly, or maybe, it was because the adults around me did an awful job of glamorizing what adulthood was.
I spent my whole childhood waiting patiently for adulthood, expecting a second big bang to happen when I turned 18 but so far so, all I have gotten are disappointments and bills, a lot of bills.
At 23, I am wondering what I did wrong in life and sometimes, I feel like being an adult might be the hell we are told about but then again, hell might be far less traumatic.
Now, there are so many things I wished I knew about being an adult, and just for those who are still young, I will be creating a manual to help guide you through this dark phase; you're welcome.
Manual to surviving this hell called adulthood.
While I should be charging for this manual, I feel like I am a very benevolent human who likes charity and doesn’t care about money; side note: I accept hive, HBD, BTC, fiat, etc.
So yes, as the benevolent person I am, these are some things you need to know about adulthood;
- As an adult, you have to work or else you will starve, but the gag is if you are in a third world country, you most likely wouldn’t get a job and you might have to result in writing some bad comedy, oh wait, that’s just me.
- Your mental health will be hanging on a thread no matter what you do (especially if you don’t drink alcohol); there is no maybe here because it surely will, and most days, you will break down because you want chicken and you can’t afford chicken, yeah, little things like that hurt.
- You know the clear skin you brag about? Gone! And you will spend the money you don’t have, from the job you don’t have to buy skincare that doesn’t even work.
- You are deceived with a mirage that you have a choice, but when you tell your mother that you might not get married or have children, you realized that there is no choice in adulthood and you are just existing to make your African mother happy.
- Lastly, all the plans you have of freedom to attend parties and clubs all disappear because, in five years, you might have attended only one club, and you had to leave early due to a panic attack because it was loud and crowded.
Well, at this juncture, if anyone wants to build a time machine to go back in time, this will be the perfect time for it and even though I don’t have much, I can cook meals that might either kill you or make you happy because just like adulthood, my cooking is also a miss.