Pan: Hey guys! Guys I found out a secret...
Bee: Eugh. I already hate the direction that this is going...
Count Drake: Yes but you never like anything, now do you Bee?
Bee: Hush you. Go on now dear. Proceed with your secret.
Pan: Well, this year Santa has a special gift for all of us...
(continuing) and it doesn't even matter if we've been naughty or nice...
and to tell you the truth, that part is actually a bit of a relief for me...
(pauses for a beat as if remembering something, then shakes head and continues)
But anyway... Can any of you guess what the gift is going to be...?
Bee: ...(growing impatient)...Why don't you just tell us dear, so we can all move on with our lives.
Pan: (Excited) Okay. Okay, I'll give you a hint...
It's a giant butt plug!
Surprise!!!!!!
Bee: (Blinks once slowly) We're done here...
Alfi: (Looks up from his writing) That sounds nice...(Pauses)...but what exactly is a butt plug?
Harry: (Exasperated) Oh my God. I have a headache. I need to go lay down.
Elenor: Why Pan?... Why do you always do this?
Pan: What? It's the truth! I don't know what you're all upset about. I for one, am excited.
As the lights fade and the others walk away the focus falls back onto Count Drake.
Speaking quietly as if to himself, Count Drake: As am I Pan. As am I.
The End
Santa Claus, or more commonly referred to as Buttplug Gnome, is a 6 meter tall bronze statue that is located in Rotterdam Netherlands.
It was designed and built in 2001 by American artist Paul McCarthy. It currently resides in Eendrachtsplein square in the city.
Given its appearance, it's not all that surprising that the statue has stirred up one of the biggest local art scandals in the city over the past few decades.
Originally it was intended to be placed at the Doelen Theater but it was moved multiple times to different locations due to the protests of residents and many local businesses.
The art piece cost the city €180 thousand euros and continues to spark an ongoing debate about its appropriateness in the city.