It's 12:00 in the morning and my eyes are still wide open. I’m not usually up this late, or is it early? Gets me a bit confused sometimes. I’m here scrolling through Whatsapp, looking for whose life I’m going to pop into after ghosting for a month, my absence makes their heart grow fonder. I bump into Oyin, my very disturbed friend. I’m surprised she’s still up by this time, but then again, demons work better at night.
I kind of really like Oyin even though I don’t tell her very often, I have never told her. Most of all, I love her humor, it’s way darker than mine which is a lot considering how dark I can get. Not a lot of people appreciate how dark my humor is, not Oyin though, and when you find a friend like that, I suggest you hold them tight.
There are a lot of problems in the world and she is one of them, she even scares me sometimes. Imagine Chucky, now imagine Chucky being scared of something else.
Aside from her humor, I think she’s a great person. That says a lot coming from me.
Life is more entertaining with people like her around. Are your friends boring? Do you just have normal conversations about the future every time or do they make you think about how irrelevant and insignificant you are in the grand scheme of things?
If I had more people like Oyin, I could rule the world honestly, but I don’t so I’ll have to settle for the likes of… I almost got carried there, moving on…
People don’t like dark humor because of how insensitive it can be but they also forget how creative it makes you. I saw a post on Facebook that read,
“Who is your 911 when you’re falling apart?”
Seems harmless enough to the naked eye but I saw “9 11” and “fall apart” and I immediately thought of a plane and a set of popular twins.
You see, the key to delivering killer jokes is all in the execution. Get it? No? Let’s try again.
First lesson, or is this the third? Never be apologetic for who you are, or do what comes to you naturally, except if it cutting people open and harvesting their organs, that’s where I draw the line. Get it now? Still no?
Either your humor is broken or there’s no pleasing you which come to think of it, is one of the steps to becoming a narcissist, good for you!
I pray sleep comes because I’m starting to get bored and I flirt when I’m bored, might be in three relationships before dawn. It’s happened before and I had to leave a trail of heartbreaks Why don’t I date Oyin if I like her so much? Well first off, I don’t want to give her that honor. Second, she scares me. Dating her would mean I’m either very brave or very stupid. I can say I know for a fact she has a globe in her room.
Shit!! She might even be watching me now. I wonder how those things work, can you use them to see someone going into the toilet? Or must they be fully cloth before the globe allows you see them? Who makes the rules anyways?
All this thinking is making my body shut down, we’ll talk about you later.