Animals have it so easy that sometimes, I wish I was an animal. Every animal has it easy even the ones you think don't have it easy. Lets start with chickens.
I sit at the back of my house and watch these things have the time of their lives, they go around to eat all day and bask in the sun where ever they please. The best part of being a chicken has to be the sex part and the thrill of the chase. One cock decides it's horny and finds the nearest hen around regardless of whose wife it may be, tell me who wouldn't want that.
I know most of us has seen that happen at least once and we lie we don't watch porn. They have sex under a minute and nobody judges, I'm starting to want to live like a chicken now. Any chicken that lasts more than a minute would be considered a celebrity.
The only downside to being a chicken is being eaten at the end but if I was a chicken, that's how I want to go out.
Then there's goats, there are so many upsides to being a goat. First off, everywhere is your toilet and I mean anywhere. Second, being called a goat as an insult wouldn't be an insult to you at all. Then theres the free food because grasses grow everywhere including my uncle's bald head. I would just go round eating everything anywhere I please.
Picking up goat chicks would be good too, the right baaaa would do the trick. I'd just walk up to a click and go baa baa baa and she follows me home that night or follows me to what ever bridge I sleep under.
Another animal I would consider being is a snail only because I heard that sex can last up to two hours and they usually have orgies with themselves but lets face it, nobody bothers a snail, eat, move around slowly and sleep for a long time when I don't see food.
I would've considered being a dog too because its basically still the same thing except in some parts my country, they eat dogs and I don't want to be caught in the wrong place one day, I'll pass on being a dog except I somehow find my place in the UK.
I think being an animal is great, life is so much easier and they don't have to deal with this woke nonsense we have to deal with every morning.
If you were an animal, what would you be??