I was seated in the third row of the bus when my uncle, who sat in between the driver and his friend, suddenly screamed “Ekueme ekueme”. Mirian and I exchanged knowing glances at each other and burst into quiet giggles.
Designed Using Canva
He was about to sing/scream out the next line of the song when his friend placed his right hand over my uncle’s mouth in a bid to shut it. He then whispered something inaudible into his ear, probably telling him to quit singing and behave well. But my uncle bit his fingers and continued to sing very loudly.
My cousins, uncles and aunties, and my mom were all in the bus; we had just honored an invitation to a family member’s wedding and were on our way back home. Apparently, during the course of the wedding, my uncle had gone overboard with drinking and got himself very drunk.
Before we filed into the bus, Mirian, my older cousin, pulled me to the side and whispered that my uncle Ari was drunk. I looked over at him right away, and sure enough, he was standing at one corner, laughing at a stone he picked off the floor.
We knew the 2 hour journey ahead of us was going to be interesting. As Uncle Ari continued his song, the rest of the family sang along with him, not knowing what was going on. The song eventually ended, and all was calm.
Out of nowhere, he started planning his birthday celebration, which was in two days, and giving us instructions on what we would do to help.
“I will order a very big cake for myself. I want drinks and food with plenty of chicken and beef. Mirian, I hope you are writing this down." His speech slurred as he asked
"Yes, Uncle, I’m writing,” Mirian answered, even though she wasn’t writing anything.
“I will butcher three cows, so there will be enough meat for everybody. Then who will be our DJ for the event? Kenenna over to you.” He said it in a very sloppy and slow voice.
At this point, it was becoming quite clear that he wasn’t acting normal. My other cousins, Kenenna and Kenechukwu, looked at me and Mirian. They could instantly tell we knew something they didn't when they noticed us giggling to ourselves.
Kenenna, who was sitting behind me, got to his feet and tried to reach out to me. "He's drunk, right?" he muttered as he got close enough to cup my ear.
I laughed a little and nodded in response. He then sat back down and uttered, “I knew it!” under his breath. He nodded to his brother in confirmation of their assumptions. After a while, the news had gone around, and all my cousins knew.
My mom and other uncles and aunties also knew, but they couldn’t do anything about it 😂. So we just laid back and enjoyed the free entertainment.
Every time we passed any building on the road, he would shout out the color of the building, and if he saw anything unusual, he would shout it out too.
There was a time we saw some enormous cows walking along the side of the road, being led by three scrawny men wearing big sun hats with missing teeth and canes in their hands.
His eyes sparkled as soon as he saw them, and he grinned broadly. After that, he attempted to summon one of the men over and cranked down the window.
“Your cows look like they have eaten well. How much for your three fattest ones? I want to buy them for my birthday celebration,” he yelled.
The whole back region of the bus, where my cousins and I sat, erupted in the loudest laughter. The adults in front tried cautioning him to stop it and wind the window back up, but he refused and even told the driver to pull over so he could negotiate with the herdsmen.
“If you buy the cows, where will you keep them? There’s no space in the bus." My mom asked, trying to talk sense into his head.
“I will carry them on my lap, don’t worry!” He said.
The driver quickly sped past the cows and the herdsmen, and he finally quieted down. After a while, he yawned and eventually fell asleep till we got to our destination—the family house in the village.