I was off the radar for some days but it feels like it's been one week. I took a trip to the hospital and the doctor decided that the hospital was ideal for a weekend getaway and who am I to object?
Nick Fewings
Today I'll continue with some of the funny attitudes that are common to Nigerians. Almost all of us act this way. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. I think we learnt some of these things right from our mother's womb. Even if you've never done any of these, you must have someone in your family who does 😄😄. It is that generic.
Squeezing a loaf of bread before buying
We love eating bread in Nigeria but we also know that some of these bread factories can bake stone for you to eat as bread and some of them can bake a risen flour with nothing inside for you to buy. This is why every good Nigerian has learnt how to squeeze the loaf of bread before buying😄😄. You gotta feel what you are buying right?
A Nigerian calls you to eat
Visit a Nigerian home when they are eating and they'd always invite you to join in. Know this however, that it is done out of courtesy not because they really want you to share in their meal😄. Since they asked out of courtesy, they expect you to also decline and say thank you. If you wash your hand and join in, they won't say anything but better not look at their facial expression because if eyes can kill, you'd be in the mortuary.
We are not that bad. Only three of us can invite you to join us and would really mean it. In fact we can happily leave the food for you to eat to your satisfaction. These three are 
Always late to a party
If you are having a party in Nigeria and that party is meant to start by 12pm, the wise thing to do is to print 10am on your invitation card. As if that would work😄. The Nigeria in us will still tell us that the real time is 12pm, that you just printed 10am to make us come early and that's how we will still end up late at your party. Even the party hosts arrive late at their own party so who are the guests to come early?
Am I your mate or I don't blame you
Nigerians love seniority. Oh my goodness! Even when it is absolutely unnecessary. Once you hear a Nigerian asking someone "am I your mate?" Just know that fight is about to start. It is only when you correct them or don't act according to their dictates that they remember they are older. After asking the question, "am I your mate?" The next statement that follows is "I don't blame you".😄
Tasting cooked groundnut before buying
Cooked groundnuts are hawked on trays in Nigeria. Nigerians have this habit of tasting the groundnut before buying it. Some of them claim they want to be sure it suits their taste before buying but there are still some elements that all they do is taste every groundnut from every groundnut seller that passes without buying any😄. I'm sure some of you are guilty of this. You better confess.
I am coming when they are going
If a Nigerian tells you they are coming just know they are going. Coming means going over here. You'd be with someone and the next thing, they would stand up, dress up, wear their shoes and when you ask,"Where are you going? They respond with "I am coming".
Priscilla Du Preez
Nigerians are indeed special people. If you have more to add, you are free to write about them.
This is still The COMedy Rumble Wk 3