Hello everyone, I hope you all are well. It's been a while since I wrote something here. Even though I was active as a silent user every day, I didn't feel like sharing or writing anything. I kept in touch with many Hivers; I just didn't feel inspired to write or share my stories. I had a feeling that whatever is happening in my life, writing about it doesn't make sense. But to be honest, due to my previous posts, I got many contacts from the outside world, which I never thought of. People outside of Hive read my posts (I don't know how) and reached out to me for different purposes. That actually made me happy, and somehow I felt that my posts had some use cases. Some people still ask me about life in Ukraine, read or watch my posts, videos, and try to talk to me. It's interesting to see how the digital world works nowadays, even though AI is taking over many sectors.
So, what have I been doing these days? The answer is nothing much, still the same old life. I didn't achieve much, and I didn't create any successful memories. But mentally, I am better than before and can handle my daily life. I have difficulties, and I see my therapist once a month, so I can say I succeeded. I finished doing a lot of courses to upskill for my future career. I still have severe depression and hard days, but I guess I have to live with it. Some things will stay forever, and that can't be changed; that's okay. I feel more mature now, and I try to learn every day from my daily life. I am not super active or full of energy, yet I manage to complete some tasks every day. I have come a long way, and I guess I will continue going forward. I hope atleast...
I haven't traveled much lately, mostly because I lack energy and also have an attachment to my dog Gigi. I don't know why, but sometimes I find it difficult to take a break from everyday life. Besides, everything nowadays is very expensive. Or maybe because I have a goal now, so I am not focusing on going somewhere for vacation. I am looking for a job according to my skills to build my career, and it's hard.
I started learning the Dutch language by myself and also use Duolingo and books to learn the language. I keep forgetting words and verbs, but the most difficult part for me is speaking due to pronounciation. Because my way of talking is different, no one speaks Dutch with me and quickly switches to English since they don't understand what I am saying. I haven't lost hope yet, and to keep myself inspired, I started learning the Japanese language. There are reasons for learning Japanese, to be honest. I watch tons of animes everyday plus, watch Japanese shorts and videos.
Moreover, somehow, for me, pronouncing the Japanese language is much easier than the Dutch language. So, as a hobby I started learning Japanese, and in 2 weeks I made a lot of progess than in Dutch, which I have been learning for the past 2 months. I also applied for the language school, but due to long waiting lists for free basic courses, I was not so lucky to get instant language classes. So, I am on the waiting list. I understand Dutch if someone speaks slowly with me, and I can read Dutch sentences as well.
My sister always makes jokes with me when it comes to language. Because I never learned any language properly in life except English. So, I really hope one day I will be able to speak basic Dutch atleast to survive. I also saw that many people are using AI Agent Claude to learn language. I haven't looked into it yet.
We had a beautiful Sakura week in March, and I took a lot of photos and videos back then. But I somehow deleted them and was left with these two photos. The place where I stay currently has a nice park nearby where the Sakura bloom. I go out with Gigi every day and walk around the park. Gigi's birthday is coming, and she will be 6 years old if I am not wrong. Time flies really because she is a full-grown adult Labrador now.
I am trying to integrate with Dutch culture and system, knowing the difficulties. I don't know when and how things will be better or normal for me, or I guess this is just a new normal life for me. I don't know yet. There is a lot of anger, frustration, and depression living inside me, but that's just who I am right now. I believe eventually there will be a way for me in the future, whether in the Netherlands or somewhere else. But until then, my daily life fight and struggle continues...
Until next time...
Love
Priyan...
I am
.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thoughts easily...
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