Motherhood so far has been a sour sweet experience for me, don't get me wrong I love my baby with the whole of my heart, I'd lay my life down for my little angel but I just can't help but talk about my journey so far, let just say today is "catharsis day* and have found out more often than not that talking about it always helps, and by doing so I'll have to start from the beginning, don't worry I'll try to be very brief.
THE BEGINNING
A month after my wedding I got pregnant 😁and I was ecstatic as it took me a long time to adjust to the idea of me being pregnant,for the first three weeks of pregnancy I expected those normal symptoms that came with pregnancy but it Never came, there was no morning sickness, or cravings for some certain foods,or the part where you add alot of weight, as at the time I felt like my case was special 😂, then the following month I got the news that will forever rock my world, "my dad died" this was exactly a month after my wedding.
As at the time my dad was sick, yes but we all thought he'd recover soon as he wasn't the type to fall sick so easily, I mean in all my years of being his daughter, the only type of sickness my dad used to have was "stomach upset" or the usual 😂 "Money sickness" so seeing my dad in this state (being sick) was something I never experienced growing up. Well of course they told us he was responding to treatment and that he was going to be alright and we took them for their words, we usually went to visit and then go home again, until that night, my twin sis called to tell me my dad had died, it's not a feeling I'd wish on any one not even my enemy, I cried that night like a baby, I was so shocked cause I never expected he'd be leaving us so soon, I mean come on I was "pregnant" for God sakes and I was so looking forward to him carrying his first grandchild but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Continue to rest in peace papa 🕊️
Three weeks after I lost my dad, I got yet another shocking news that I never expected would happen "I lost my baby" yea I had a miscarriage of which the doctor ruled it out to be that my baby stopped growing two weeks ago and I had automatic miscarriage, I think that was the way he put it, that day at the hospital I couldn't believe it, what did I do to deserve such losses all in the span of one month, my husband was there with me when the doctor pronounced our baby dead, he held my hands so tight on the way home that day, he even tried to make me laugh so I wouldn't cry, eventually they had to remove the baby from my stomach, I think he referred to it as "evacuation method" the procedure was carried out that day and I went home that same day, through it all my husband was so supportive, my twin and mum were Always calling to check up on me, thank God I was finally able to get over it because it took me sometime.
January and February rolled by and there was still no sign of pregnancy and all around me, my friends who got married before me, were giving birth and those who got married after me where pregnant and it was already showing but I was yet to get pregnant, I mean "what was going on?" I kept asking myself, because the doctor already said I was good to go on the childbearing front but no baby was forthcoming, after those first few months of using test strips 😂 I just took the backseat on the child making scene cause I didn't want to be disappointed ( to every woman out there looking for the fruit of the womb, I pray the good Lord grants your heart desires in Jesus name...... Amen 🙏💯) march came and I was two days late, I then decided to go get test strips once more to check, lo and behold it showed the double lines😁I was overjoyed and couldn't wait to share the news with my mum and sister, Immediately I called them both to tell them (because I was already thinking of a way to surprise my husband) I told them and they were so happy.
When I eventually relayed the news to my husband, he was looking so proud 😂 and thus the journey of my second pregnancy began.
PREGNANCY JOURNEY
A month into my pregnancy for "baby Zayn" yea that's his name now 😁 I started to get really sick, I couldn't keep anything down , compared to my first pregnancy when I didn't feel a thing, I gradually began to add weight after the morning sickness stopped, did I forget to mention my growing belly, my thigh, my waist, my hips, and a little part of my arm had "Thunder stripes on it 😂" otherwise known as stretch marks, It took some getting used to but eventually I learnt to accept it as the new norm, I didn't get to know about oils that you could use to prevent it on time so by the time I knew about it I was already in my third trimester and I was already exhausted all I wanted was for the little guy to pop out 😂😂😂
My first trimester wasn't funny at all, it took me 6weeks 4days to get over my morning sickness then coupled with the problem of smell, I mean my sense of smell intensified to the point that someone might be cooking two houses away and I'd still smell it ( super hero powers right?😂) But thankfully second semester paved the way for my taste buds to experience the wonders of food 😂, I ate like no man's business and tried my best to keep a tight leash on the amount of food I consumed a day but i was all talk and no bark, I did the best I could but when third trimester came around I was already convincing myself that I was eating for two and adding weight during pregnancy Is a normal thing, not like I got too fat but I added weight lol, I'll be attaching pictorial evidence to this post 😄.
Don't even get me started on my sleeping patterns, with each passing day getting to sleep on my side was almost impossible and low-key annoying and it was even more annoying whenever I tried getting into a good position to sleep for like 30mins and my husband would be sleeping so soundly beside me without a care in the world 😡😂 anyways our little one finally decided to pop out 2days to Christmas, we welcomed our baby boy "ZAYN" into our world on the 23rd of December 2021, weighing 3.2kg my baby was so beautiful, I think I cried that day from joy though that through it all I finally got to carry my own baby in my arms
THE TRANSITIONING
Adjusting into a life with a baby has to be a subject taught in schools, it should be included in our schools curriculum, because up until now I'm still trying to transition, I'm not even talking about the physical changes you go through after birth, mentally you have to be prepared too lets not forget about the lack of sleep too, like all traces of afternoon siesta gone!!!! Into oblivion 😂 it's worth it though, seeing your baby grow everyday before your very eyes is a feeling I can't just explain, I guess you can say it's a mixture of " love, excitement, a little bit of fear, feeling blessed and lucky, nervousness and overall happiness" just to see him healthy, safe and sound everyday it's a blessing it self.
Well did I mention i delivered my baby through a Caesarean section 😁 and PS I will always recommend it to anyone who's looking to checkout the birthing plan, 3months after settling into the life of being a mum to my little one I wanted to start exercising but I couldn't cause doctors orders was to rest till I was certified ready to resume my normal activities, it took me time to adjust into this new body I have now but let's just say have been on a journey of self love, I'm learning to love myself, and to make changes where it's necessary, no negative comments about my body anymore but rather I'm glad that she was able to pull through the 9months of having a whole human being inside her and still come out looking so beautiful 😍, through it all my husband has been my number 1 hype man encouraging me with so much positive words all geared towards me having a positive outlook on the way I look now😁 oh before I forget 🤔let me chip this in here 🙈 "Sex is great" now, if I dare say better than ever 😂.
So to all the mum's out there I encourage to look at what you've gone through and be proud of yourself, you're strong, you're beautiful you're a wife first and also a Mum so don't forget to Always make time out for "BAE" ❤️ and to sneak in as much lovey dovey moments as much as possible because they too (our spouses) are on this journey with us, and remember always that although each day comes with it's challenges you'll be ready,ready to take on any task because that's what mum's do.
Hope this wasn't too long 😂 just had to put this out there.