“Western civilization is a loaded gun pointed at the head of this planet.”
~Terence McKenna
As I read the story of the recent school shootings in Texas, one question stood out to me the most…
What would bring a young adult to shoot his grandmother in the face?!?
The media brought forth this story focusing largely on gun control and minimally covering the necessity to address mental health.
As a mother and advocate for self-care and re-pairing core wounds…the elephant in the room was not being addressed!
How have we come to disrespect the feminine to such a degree that we literally and figuratively shoot her in the face?
I believe the answer perhaps partly lies in our current beliefs and practices around birthing and post-partum care.
In this article I will attempt to bridge the gap between collective and societal mental health issues and birth trauma…and touch on ways we can potentially prevent the loss of more innocent lives.
I’ll start with my own story of birth trauma…
I personally was blessed to have had two c-sections followed by two vaginal births to bring forth 4 special souls and my greatest life-time teachers.
Not one person, amongst ALL of the highly-skilled and thoroughly-schooled practitioners, spoke of the far-reaching repercussions of birthing trauma.
I was sent home to “suck it up” and “fend for myself”…after all, along with each traumatic birth, I had a beautiful “healthy” baby to be grateful for. All else should have been trivial…right?
Well, after nearly 6 years of chronic pain, panic attacks, dissociation, insomnia, riding an emotional rollercoaster ending in divorce… I finally found someone who awakened me to the immense burden that I was holding in my body and energetic field. Not just from my own birthing trauma but from many generations past.
I went in for a simple c-section scar tissue mobilization session…and within 30 minutes I was a sobbing, wet mess…under re-construction. All of the emotions, pain and memories that were stored in that visible 3-inch scar came unexpectedly rushing forth.
I had no idea how much emotional healing that the rupturing of the scars (physical and emotional) would bring forth for me to contend with and integrate.
To this day, I am eternally grateful for the massage therapist who awakened this beast within me, to finally begin to tame her, one breath at a time.
And I’m still healing!
For the past 10 years since, I have devoted my life to healing these multi-dimensional and generational scars, so that my progeny won’t have to take on the full burden of my unconscious baggage.
This unconscious baggage that mothers (and fathers) hold onto, stored away under an armor of protection, is what our children pick up on, wrestle with and eventually project out onto the world as the reason for their suffering and emotional numbness.
An unconscious mother wound causes disrespect for and a deep rage towards the feminine and a distrust for the caregivers and source of nurturance in the world…Mother Nature, mothers, grandmothers, teachers, etc.
When mothers disconnect from themselves, harbor resentment for their own mothers and model behaviors that disrespect their own bodies…and Mother Nature, the source of life itself…imagine the message we send to our children and partners.
Through my personal experience I have realized that…in order to heal these wounds collectively…we have to get to the core issues…one being addressing the mental health of our caregivers (specifically mothers) surrounding child birth.
For starters, women who have undergone a c-section or experienced any kind of trauma (whether major or minor) during labor would greatly benefit from some kind of restorative/somatic therapy immediately afterward.
In fact, I feel that it should be mandatory and covered by insurance!
Unfortunately our culture and medical system are largely unaware of this serious need, so many women are expected to jump right into motherhood with all of the physical, mental and emotional demands after childbirth.
This outright neglect and even suppression of the feminine emotions, mind and body can lead to a myriad of immediate and delayed complications including depression, anxiety, breast-feeding issues, impaired digestion, chronic pain and fatigue, bladder dysfunction, sexual dysfunction, insomnia…and sadly divorce and psychological/behavioral problems in the children.
Think about how much this oversight can negatively affect family dynamics and traditions…and ultimately lead to dismantling the family unit and all of the societal issues that may follow (i.e., violence, abuse, suicide, homicide, addictions and drug abuse).
A mass collective focus on healing birth trauma and our “mother wounds” might even prevent some of the atrocities that we are witnessing mentally challenged humans inflict upon those who happen to be caught in their blind path of despair and self-destruction.
If you or someone you know has been affected by birthing trauma, it is important to realize there is hope and you/they are not alone.
So many women remain silent or unknowing about pelvic floor dysfunction and emotional/physical pain because they are programmed to accept it as normal and they are more focused on serving their children and family than on themselves.
Birth trauma is not just about what happened during labour and the birth. It can also refer to how you, as the mother, are left feeling afterwards. Sometimes the effects of birth trauma can emerge and continue for some time after you've given birth.
At the time of birth, you may have felt fearful, helpless or unheard. After the birth, it's possible to feel shocked, guilty or numb and even experience panic attacks or anxiety.
If you notice any of these symptoms, you may be experiencing birth trauma. If so, you are certainly not alone. It's been estimated that up to 1 in 3 women who give birth may experience birth trauma.
Occupational, physical, somatic and massage therapists and midwives are in a unique position to treat this population from a holistic perspective in order to bring a mother’s entire life back into balance…positively affecting their entire family and society as a whole.
Even if it has been 5/10/20/30 years since the surgery or trauma occurred, much can be transformed through interventions that assist the whole body to find homeostasis and journey back in to inhabit the present moment…in order to FULLY show up for our family and hold space for those BIG emotions!
Feel free to reach out to me through my website if you resonate and would benefit from guidance to find help in this arena.
The healing starts with recognizing the signs, speaking to someone about it, feeling heard and seen and accessing the resources and professionals who can facilitate the process of integration.
I’d love to hear from you,
💕Pachee
Image credit: “Betrayal” by Mario Sanchez Nevado