I don't know about you guys, but this year has felt like the most un-christmassy Christmas of all time. Perhaps it's because it's the 1st time in 3 years that we've been allowed to celebrate "normally," or perhaps it's a buildup of mental and financial exhaustion that so many of us are experiencing, thanks to the economic fallout of the pandemic or the crypto bear market we're currently experiencing, but making Christmas happen this year was hard.
Most companies, including mine and Zak's, did not pay Christmas bonuses, which means what little money we have spare has to cover festivities, and because here in SA our school year starts at the end of January, the expenses of sending all three kids to school in a few weeks (books, uniforms, stationery, shoes) all seem to be compounded.
Actually, I really shouldn't be moaning, because of course there are so many people who have lost their jobs this year and actually had to cancel Christmas completely - but they do say that personal experience is relative and we should all have the grace to feel and process our stress without feeling guilty on top of it. The last thing someone needs to hear, who is genuinely worried about their lives for any reason, is that horrible statement: "you don't know how lucky you are."
I do.
I know.
I have three beautiful, healthy, loving children, we share a beautiful home.
I have an incredible life partner/almost-husband person @ZakLudick, who has worked so damn hard to provide us with everything we could want or need this year.
I have a stable job
and there has been so much going on with my music that my brain has been spinning with glee , thanks to my incredible partner in crime
This year has been full of ups and downs, and highs and lows and wins and losses, and at the end of it, I do feel like we all came out on top, but yissus (South African slang for blasphemy) have these last few weeks taken the final wind out of me.
Those of you who know and follow @ZakLudick will know he's been stuck on a De Beers Marine vessel for three months: 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. I have had a taste of what being a single mother of three emotionally complex teenagers is like and my f%#@#@# am I grateful to have Zak back home. The whole thing took a toll on all of us, emotionally and sheer exhaustion left us all with exposed nerves and in puddles of tears. Certainly not an experience I'd like to repeat any time soon.
@ZakLudick, still stuck on the ship and looking super unimpressed in those hot overalls
@ZakLudick and I celebrating his disembarkment and the end of the project AT LAST
The kids managed to all do incredibly well, considering I spent very little individual study time with them. @Matthew-Williams will be gliding into grade 4 with fantastic marks and out of the foundation phase (which is a huge deal since he just repeated grade three). @MerenLudick is excitedly going into Grade 7: his last year in junior school as well as his current school which means two big moves for him in 2024. @AimeLudick is heading into grade 9, having successfully navigated her 1st year of high school and is planning to be a theoretical physicist you know, just incase she doesn't make it as an anime artist.
So wow. Yes. Even while we were under immense pressure as parents, our kids really pulled it out of the bag.
@ZakLudick and I are now however, very flat, and hope to charge our batteries over the next few weeks.
Unfortunately, we were unable to coordinate our leave, thanks to company requirements on both sides, but at least we get the public holidays together, and while he is on leave now and I am still at work, at least I don't work on the pubic holidays, and when I do work, it's only half day.
Let's just say I'm not sad to be on the other side of this year. I'm looking forward to a few months of no birthdays, no staying up till 3am making Christmas food, and a bit of a return to normal life....
When I do go on leave on the 9th of January, you can expect a barrage of photos of me drinking mimosas under the trees in our garden on a picnic blanket, but for now, it's heads down for just a wee bit longer!
So I say to myself:
"Go Mom! You're almost there. And you know what? Christmas was very Christmassy, after all!"
