My firstborn will be turning 12 in just two days. As I prepare to have a preteen I wanted to take some time to reflect on what it felt like to be a mother for the first time. I’ll tell you that I’ve been emotional lately at the thought of my baby girl moving closer into becoming a young woman.
I’ll never forget that day we brung her home from the hospital. My husband and I literally placed her car seat on the couch, looked at her, then at each other and said
What do we do now?
Coming from a place where midwives and nurses take such good care of you and your firstborn, it was quite a shock being on our own left to take care of this tiny human being. A small precious and sweet infant that is depending on you to nourish and protect her.
There were no step by step instructional handbooks on how to take care of our daughter because she was one of a kind. Not one baby is like the other as each is unique and has their own specific needs. We had to figure it out. We were in this for the long haul and had to learn how to be the parents she needed us to be.
Thankfully we figured it out enough to where she is such a sweet, healthy, respectable, helpful and kind hearted person. We are blessed to have had her as our firstborn as she is so thoughtful and always willing to step up to do more work. She is a wonderful sibling to her younger brothers and sister and loves taking care of them.
Parenting is one of those learn as you go type of jobs. You improve as you learn from mistakes and also by watching others who have walked the path before you. There are things we have apologized to our daughter for that she had to go through…things caused by our ignorance.
She sometimes makes comments like
Why did they (her siblings) get to do this and that and you never let me?
What she still has to understand is that as first time parents it’s more scary than being second, third and so forth parents. What we thought was dangerous or scary when she was a baby we now realize is not so. Some of the things we would not allow when she was younger we now allow for our other children.
I know to her it seems like we were being mean or unfair but unfortunately she was just our first go around. She was the child we learned the most with and sadly she was affected by it in ways. I always say to her
Just be thankful you survived our learning experience. 😁
Looking back on the years I feel like I need more time cherishing her as my baby girl. It was way too fast and I didn’t sign up for speedy adolescence.
As I continue watching over her and allowing her to become the young woman she is meant to be, I discipline myself to do so at a distance.
I’m not far out of reach nor will I ever be too far where she feels lonely but I am learning to give her space and the room she needs to grow.
Doesn’t every parent want their child to learn independence?
She needs to learn how to function on her own, problem solve, work through her emotions and stand on her own strength without me holding her hand.
I started slowly releasing the grip a couple of years back when I realized she needed that more than me babying her. Me allowing her to be her own is more helpful than me constantly shadowing her.
One thing I’m grateful for is that we are an open family and are able to share things with each other whether it be embarrassing or not. I want my daughter to know I trust her and that although she will make mistakes I know she will always try to do what’s right. That’s just the type of person she is.
How did we get blessed with such a daughter?
I am so grateful to have her as she has taught me many things as well. That’s one thing I wasn’t aware of back then. I didn’t realize how much a child could teach a parent.
Well, it’s two days away from me having a preteen. What more to do to prepare for that? My baby girl is not so baby any more. 🥺