Okay, let’s get straight to the scenario of this photo.
The not so happy looking egg in the cup is me. The one getting comfy and cozy to cuddle is my 11 year old daughter (soon to be 12). The last egg on the right looking loved and loving every moment is my husband.
I know, you have no clue where I’m going with this or where it’s stemming from so let’s change that…
Every since my daughter was a baby she’s preferred cuddling with her dad over me.
When I was nursing her as soon as she was done with her meal she’d roll over to her dad, like almost immediately, to cuddle and take a nap.
🤯🤯🤯
I’m the one that fed her and gave her the nourishment she needed. I felt so used and abused when she did that. I even cried some nights because it hurt and offended me.
I know she was just a baby people but her preferences still hurt. 😓
So here we are today. She’s about to become a preteen and I’m already seeing other changes in her. She stays in her room longer to not be bothered, she doesn’t like to make runs with me like she used to, she bores very quickly and it’s hard to tell how’s she’s really feeling at times.
Don’t get me wrong, she does talk to me about things and willing to share her feelings but there’s a distance between us nowadays. Many people have warned me this would happen and to prepare for it but I guess I failed at preparation.
I learned a hard truth (one I’ve known for years but tried to ignore) that she is just more comfortable with her dad. 😩
I asked her
Why don’t you cuddle with me as much as you do with your dad?
She replied
I don’t know. It’s just…I like to cuddle with him. I’m comfortable and it’s easy to.
🥺🥺🥺
Yea, if you ask a hard question be ready for what comes next.
I began going down this path of wondering if my daughter even really likes me. Does she consider me a friend? Is she happy I’m her mom?
She’s always loved me but…
The reality of kids growing up, making their own choices and having their own likes can sometimes be scary.
My husband knows this has always made me sad and jealous and a little on the envy (which I should not be feeling) side. I look at their relationship and adore it. I would love to have that type of relationship with my daughter.
Then I got to thinking of the relationship she and I do have.
We craft together, solve problems around the house together, we laugh and play around with her other siblings together, learn together, we cook together…
Our relationship will not look the same as her relationship with her father and that’s okay.
I began appreciating the fact that my husband is here and has such a close relationship with his daughter. With each child the relationship is special and that shouldn’t be looked upon as something to envy but something to admire and be thankful for.
I was just having my moment of feeling rejected because I wanted my daughter to see me as a cuddling buddy too. I am also struggling seeing her grow up so fast right before my eyes and that’s a little scary for me.
I know she likes and loves me it just looks different now as she is coming into her own. I am truly happy she feels comfortable with her dad and they remain close friends because she will need him just as much as me during this transitional stage called growing up. ☺️
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