Uno de los momentos que más disfruto con mi hija es cuando ella me hace una pregunta, ninguna de sus preguntas me parece tonta, todo lo contrario, me emociona mucho saber que está usando su mente para cuestionar algo, porque ella espera la respuesta y tengo toda su atención, porque normalmente cuando se equivoca e intento corregirla o explicarle está distraída.
The Science of Being a Father: Learning from Carl Sagan to Answer My Daughter
One of the moments I enjoy most with my daughter is when she asks me a question. None of her questions seem silly to me; on the contrary, it excites me greatly to know that she is using her mind to question something, because she expects an answer and has my full attention, because normally when she makes a mistake and I try to correct her or explain something, she is distracted.
Cuando me hace una pregunta, no siempre está bien formulada, aún no domina muchas palabras, pero noto que hace un esfuerzo por expresar lo que está pensando, eso me fascina y emociona muchísimo. Hace algunos años cuando determinaron que es autista, no hablaba, usaba su propia jerga y ecolalia, confieso que veía muy distante una interacción con ella de este tipo, algo muy normal para otros, un niño haciendo preguntas a su padre.
When she asks me a question, it is not always well formulated; she does not yet master many words, but I notice that she makes an effort to express what she is thinking. That fascinates and excites me enormously. Some years ago, when she was diagnosed with autism, she did not speak, she used her own jargon and echolalia. I confess that I saw an interaction of this type with her as very distant, something very normal for others, a child asking questions to their father.
Pero luego de muchos esfuerzos y acontecimientos en su vida, que he contado en otras publicaciones, es posible comenzar a tener este tipo de interacciones con ella. Se puede apreciar que en su mente está tratando de entender algo, busca apoyo en nosotros sus padres, en ocasiones le cuesta expresarlo, pero trato de ayudarle sin ser yo quien formule la pregunta, uno conoce a sus hijo y sabe cómo piensan, entiendo que me quiere decir pero le doy oportunidad que lo exprese lo mejor que pueda.
But after many efforts and events in her life, which I have recounted in other publications, it is possible to begin to have these types of interactions with her. You can see that in her mind she is trying to understand something, she seeks support in us, her parents. Sometimes she has trouble expressing it, but I try to help her without being the one who formulates the question. One knows their child and knows how they think; I understand what she wants to tell me, but I give her the opportunity to express it as best she can.
Estar preparado para contestar las preguntas de una niña autista es todo un desafío. A veces sus preguntas son sencillas y tienen respuestas sencillas, pero cuando son más complejas, le pedía un momento para pensar en su pregunta a ver si tengo la respuesta, pero un niño autista se distrae rápido y no es paciente. Esto provocó que tuviéramos algunos momentos de frustración, tanto para ella como para mi, fascinado porque me estaba preguntando algo, pero no siempre preparado para darle una respuesta que pudiera entender.
Being prepared to answer the questions of an autistic girl is quite a challenge. Sometimes her questions are simple and have simple answers, but when they are more complex, I would ask her for a moment to think about her question to see if I had the answer, but an autistic child gets distracted quickly and is not patient. This caused us to have some moments of frustration, both for her and for me, fascinated that she was asking me something, but not always prepared to give her an answer that she could understand.
Conseguí ayuda para saber cómo enfrentar este tipo de situaciones viendo una entrevista de un científico que admiro, Carl Sagan. Cada vez que puedo, me tomo un tiempo para ver un episodio de la serie Cosmos, me encanta el universo y sus misterios gracias Sagan y la facilidad como explica las cosas. Debido a esto, suelo toparme con mucho material audiovisual relacionado, fue así como di con una entrevista que le hicieron en 1977 en Johnny Carson Tonight Show.
I found help to know how to face these types of situations by watching an interview with a scientist I admire, Carl Sagan. Every time I can, I take some time to watch an episode of the series Cosmos. I love the universe and its mysteries thanks to Sagan and the ease with which he explains things. Because of this, I often come across a lot of related audiovisual material. That’s how I came across an interview he did in 1977 on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
Entrevista completa en inglés
Fragmento traducido al español
En la entrevista Sagan enfatiza que la curiosidad que tiene un niño es la base de la investigación científica, porque el niño tiene la capacidad para asombrarse y cuestionar el mundo que le rodea, por eso hace preguntas como ¿Qué hay más allá de las estrellas? Como adultos perdemos esa capacidad y no sabemos como actuar antes estas preguntas. Sagan sugiera que cuando enfrentemos esta situación respondamos al niño: ¡Es una buena pregunta! No se la respuesta ¿Podemos averiguarlo junto? ó nadie sabe, quizas seas tu quien lo averigüe.
In the interview, Sagan emphasizes that the curiosity a child has is the basis of scientific investigation, because the child has the capacity to be amazed and question the world around them. That's why they ask questions like, "What is beyond the stars?" As adults, we lose that capacity and we don't know how to act in the face of these questions. Sagan suggests that when we face this situation, we respond to the child: "That's a good question! I don't know the answer. Can we find out together?" or "Nobody knows, maybe you'll be the one who finds out."
Quedé encantado con esta manera de responderle a un niño, así que lo implemente con mi hija, cuando no se que responderle le digo simplemente que no lo se, pero que me gustaría averiguarlo junto a ella. Esto me ha traído momentos maravillosos porque me ayuda a ganar tiempo, ella queda interesada porque le encanta la idea de compartir con sus padres algo que a ella quiere saber, incluso nos recuerda que debemos averiguar y lo acepta con más facilidad.
I was delighted with this way of responding to a child, so I implemented it with my daughter. When I don't know what to answer her, I simply tell her that I don't know, but that I would like to find out with her. This has brought me wonderful moments because it helps me gain time. She is interested because she loves the idea of sharing something she wants to know with her parents. She even reminds us that we must find out and accepts it more easily.
Images made with ImageFX and Luma
! [Prompts]
A warm, intimate scene of a father and his young autistic daughter sitting together on a grassy hill at night, gazing at a starry sky. The father is pointing at the stars, while the daughter looks up with wide-eyed curiosity and wonder. The atmosphere is peaceful, with a soft glow from the moonlight illuminating their faces. The background shows a vast, colorful galaxy with twinkling stars and a faint Milky Way.
A symbolic image showing the progression of the daughter ’s communication . On the left, a younger version of the girl sits alone, surrounded by abstract shapes representing her thoughts and emotions. On the right, the same girl, now older, stands with her father, holding his hand and speaking. The background transitions from muted colors to vibrant hues, symbolizing growth and connection .
A close-up of a young autistic girl with expressive eyes, her mouth slightly open as she asks a question. Her father kneels beside her, listening intently with a gentle smile. The background is blurred, focusing on their connection. Soft sunlight filters through a window, creating a warm and loving atmosphere. The girl’s hands are slightly raised, as if she’s trying to explain her thoughts.
A close-up of a young autistic girl with expressive eyes, her mouth slightly open as she asks a question. Her father kneels beside her, listening intently with a gentle smile. The background is blurred, focusing on their connection. Soft sunlight filters through a window, creating a warm and loving atmosphere. The girl’s hands are slightly raised, as if she’s trying to explain her thoughts.
A poignant moment where the father sits on the floor, looking slightly frustrated but still patient, as his daughter stands nearby, distracted and looking away. The room is filled with toys and books, showing the chaos of daily life. The father’s hands are open, as if he’s trying to explain something, while the daughter’s body language suggests she’s lost in her own world. The lighting is soft, emphasizing the emotional complexity of the scene.
A father and his daughter sitting at a wooden table, surrounded by books, a laptop, and colorful drawings. The father is helping his daughter write or draw something, while she looks at him with curiosity. The room is cozy, with soft lighting and a few toys scattered around. The daughter ’s face shows determination as she tries to express her thoughts, and the father ’s expression is patient and encouraging.