I think anyone can love kids, when you are an auntie, uncle, or even a God’s mother or God’s father. Showing up with a bag of ice cream 🍦 or a new toy you just got for your favorite kids every now and then and having the kids jumping over you is sweet. Taking the kids to the park and having fun with them most of the weekends and then disappearing afterwards is easy and adorable.
But being a parent is on a different level of commitment, you can’t just decide to show up and disappear as you please, you can’t even choose to be tired at any point and resign your role, even when you get sick or broke, you must find a way to be there for your kids. It’s a lifetime of sacrifices and commitment.
Some of the episodes of a soap opera I’m currently watching Beyond the Gate are exploring the story of a young woman who says she doesn’t want kids right from when she was young. So she found a partner who shares the same world views with her and they got married.
This young couple is my favorite on the show due to how strong their love is and how committed they are to each other. But presently, this lady found out she is pregnant and it seems like all her dream life is shattered.
I respect this lady not because she doesn’t want kids but because she is responsible enough to realize she is not cut out for being a mother and she constantly lets the idea guide her life.
A lot of times we see people who shouldn’t have business bringing kids into this world, because they are not cut out for the responsibility involved, but they will never be accountable enough to admit it, hence they have these babies and most times as many as they want and these kids are left to suffer the consequences of their parents’ irresponsibility.
The lady in the show above loves kids so much, but that doesn’t mean she wants kids. And I think this is where people don’t think deeply enough. You hear people say oftentimes, oh, I love kids very much, I can’t wait to have mine, even when they are not ready for the things that are involved to make a good parent. Which I think is cruel if you ask me.
One question I keep asking myself when I see a deadbeat parent is, was he or she made to have kids at gunpoint? Like how do people ignore their responsibilities as a parent and sleep at all at night?
Once you become a parent you can never change that. It’s not like going to college and then graduating after some years or even deciding to change your mind and drop out along the line. Being a parent is a lifetime commitment, it takes your time, your emotions, your money, your energy, and more to be truly committed to the cause.
Before I met my husband, I had turned many suitors away because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to become a mother. I kept asking myself if I was cut out for the job and since those suitors were all about having kids as soon as possible, I chose to take my time until I was sure and ready. I remember asking myself many times, “What if I’m not good enough at the job? What if I mess up along the line? What if my partner turns out to be a deadbeat parent, will I still be able to give my kids the life they deserve?” Yeah, no one wishes to be a single parent, but it happens and the best thing is to be prepared.
By the time I met my husband, I knew I was ready for the task ahead and when I felt my son growing in my belly for the first time, I felt an unimaginable amount of love growing inside me and I knew I would go to the end of the world for his sake.
Some say not wanting to have kids is selfish, but to me, not wanting to have kids because one is not cut out for the responsibility is not selfish, it’s being accountable and being considerate. What I think is not alright is bringing kids into the world without being ready to take full responsibility for them.
Yes, kids are adorable, they are cute and are blessings, and everyone deserves to desire them, but before having them, just make sure you are ready for the task ahead. Because believe me, it’s an unending task.
Some let society pressure them into having kids they don’t plan for, the same society that will treat your kids as a product of an irresponsible parent when you fail them. I think people should learn to think deeply, be sure they are ready to give it their very best before bringing those innocent ones into the world.
Thank you guys, this is just some thoughts of someone who is sick of seeing some parents bringing kids into the world without being ready to take on the responsibility of a parent.
