Does motherhood really requires right and perfect age?
Since then, I've been asking myself about those questions, but honestly even now that I am already a mother of my own child, I still can't say that there is a perfect age for motherhood. I mean I can't specifically give an age for this huge responsibility of a woman.
Basically when I was just 15 year's old, I told myself that I wanna be a mother at the age of 25, so if ever God allow me to reach 50 years old, then my child is already 25 years old. In my childish thoughts with that age, for sure my child already have a stable job or maybe he/she has his/her own family as well. Then I'll be a grandma 😂. Isn't it that cute?
However as I am getting older, and with the observation I have made within my surroundings, my perspective in life suddenly changed. Most specially when I saw how my older brother struggled in raising his own family.
My brother had his first baby at the age of 25 without savings, and I was already 23 years old that time. Two more years then I'll turned 25 year's old, however I still don't have any savings, but luckily I'm still single. Lol.
So because I witnessed the difficulties of parenthood from my brother and sister-in-law, my plan change. I told my self that I should have a stable job and savings first before I dreamed about having a baby and a grandchild. I realized that this stage has a huge responsibility. I also have seen from my sister-in-law how difficult a motherhood can be, so I make an adjustment.😁
Eventually I reached 30 year's old, and 20 years more to go and I'll hit 50, but I still don't have a child. **Do you think I am I already late for motherhood? **
Well I have work, but it's not stable, the good thing is I already have savings. Yeah, I have some coins in my bank, Lol.
Furthermore I still didn't went back home to bear a child though I am already at my 30's because this time I become unsure about my emotions, and I felt that I am not mentally ready yet. It was because I started to enjoy my life being in a long distance relationship. I started to love working and earning and grinding. I fall in love with my independency and freedom.
Actually I wasn't expecting that motherhood will affect my freedom. Not until I become a mother.
So after 2 year's, I was already 32 year's old when I finally decided to go back to my country. I thought this time, I was already ready to enter marriage life. My desire to have my own child also went back after my partner and I bought our own house. I feel so excited to have my own family as I thought I was really ready. But only to find out, I was wrong. However I didn't regretted that I entered motherhood. Motherhood can be so tiring but it was the best experience a woman can ever experienced for the rest of her life.
Furthermore I get pregnant at the age of 32, and I gave birth one month before I turned 33 years old. Some say's I am already old to have my first pregnancy. They say's suppose I should have get pregnant when I was still at my 20's as being pregnant at 30's has lot's of struggles. Well that was true as I have experienced lots. However some say's I am already at the perfect time to become a mother.
Am I really at the perfect age for motherhood?
To tell you honestly, and this also base on my own experience, motherhood has no right and perfect age. Either you give birth at early or older age as long as you're not emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ready, you will struggle. You will find things hard, complicated and difficult as motherhood needs a lot of adjustment and it has a huge responsibility to carry. It's not, a big NO, it's not as easy as we thought.
Motherhood will take away your Me time, your independency, your freedom as everything will goes around between you and your child. You can no longer say, oh I wanna go out today as I feel bored inside our home. I wanna hang out with my friends, as I miss them. You can no longer be available to them any time of the day as you already have a child who's very dependent on you. You already have a husband who needs your time and attention too. Things are so different and if you're not ready to make some adjustment, you will find motherhood a conflicts.
Anyway I am not saying, that you should not enter motherhood at any age that you wanted. What am I trying to say is you should be ready physically, emotionally, mentally and financially as you'll entering a huge responsibility in your life. Make sure that one's you entered motherhood, you shouldn't be a burden to your parents, you should make sure that both of you(your husband and you) are ready and mature enough to take the responsibility of parenthood.
It's not a game and it's not just a hot food that one's you get burnt you can spit it out. There's no turning back, one's you get inside.
Disclaimer;
All the information contained herein is intended for educational purposes only. This blog are also based on my own thoughts, opinions and experience as well. I don't have any intention to discourage nor to encourage any of my reader's to follow and believe with me. The choice is within you, as you have your own perspectives in life.
Thank you for reading
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