My head hurts, I think I am having a migraine. I had a long week. I just want a hot bath and refreshing sleep. I can't have that, I have a lot on my schedule. I don't think I'll have such a treat until this week runs out. Remember, the tribute I wrote for grandma? Yes, the burial is this week. The preparations are at their peak, and there is no rest for all of us. We have to make sure everything is in place for an eventful burial ceremony.
On top of these preparations, my aunt returns from school to join us but came with tons of work. You heard me, school work. Term paper, precisely.
She asked that I help her with the research, I am talking about 20 pages of handwritten research. It was hectic but full of lessons.
The lesson is the guide for this writing today.
What's the ideal way to take care of elderly folks?
What happens when I grow old?
You know the one thing that I am afraid of is old age. I am always wondering what will become of me when I grow old. Will I have enough retirement funds? Will the money I make be enough to keep me all through the days of my life? What if the money isn't enough? What if illness or disaster strikes? These and more are the questions that run through my mind.
The thoughts came around while researching for my aunt throughout today. My curiosity led me to lots of discoveries.
Do you think the older folks are a burden?
The attitudes of people towards their old parents make me shudder. Maybe this is why I am consciously thinking about what will become of me when I am old. I have seen children who leave their aged parents to themselves. They do not care about the well-being of their parents, especially if they are sick, and need tending to.
Our aged parents need more attention and care
Families with more children were advised in that research to share the responsibilities of taking care of their aged parents. In all amount of sincerity, I have seen children who quarrel over this particular advice. They do not ever want to be placed in a position where they have to care for their old parents. I don't know why. Do you?
Are the aged often angry?
I think so too. I feel the reason is that they feel bitter about not being young again. They are bitter about not being able to move around the way they are accustomed to. They wish in their heart of heart, that they are agile enough to live the youthful bliss they enjoyed before becoming old. In this scenario, my research explained that children should acknowledge the feelings and emotions of their parents. This will help them know that they are understood by the ones looking after them.
What about food and loss of appetite?
I have always known the food and diet for older beings is a bit different. I learned that in my Food and Nutrition Classes in Secondary School. Believe me, this topic was a bit boring to me. I guess it was because I just couldn't imagine how I'll get to a certain point where I can't eat most food anymore. I didn't find that intriguing, instead, it was scary. I refused to understand this topic because of my fears. Well, today, I looked into it a bit and learned that older folks have to take food with fewer carbohydrates, and protein. Most of them have to be served food that is semi-solid and lots of vegetables and fruits.
Have I had the experience of watching an aged human struggle with old age?
Yes. My grandaddy.
Right before I got to know him, he was living away from everyone else. Dad had given him a section of his building to live in. We didn't relocate to this particular building yet. Granddad had divorced grandma even before I was born. No one talks about the reason. It felt as though that particular history for the story was off-limit.
Now, granddad is retired and living off his pension funds, and gratuity. I don't know what happened, but, it didn't seem as though he had access to the funds anymore. Or maybe he did, he just squandered it. Yes, I think the second option is the right one. Dad was always angry at him for always spending his funds before the month ends. At some point, he got tired of talking about it. And let him live the way he wanted.
After some time, dad started taking care of him. The rest of my aunts and uncles didn't want to take care of him. (yes, this is the point I told you, I have witnessed siblings neglect the role of sharing the burdens of taking care of their aged parents, it happened right in front of me).
Dad didn't neglect his father, my grandpa. He made sure he had all meals for the day and was taken care of. I was always interested in his well-being too. That's how I became close to my granddad. Dad was pleased that I was taking care of his father, and I was genuinely doing it. I watched the rest of my grandpa's children leave him to himself. They didn't want to have anything to do with him.
I don't know what their reasons were, it didn't feel right because they had the same reason my dad would have. Yet, dad forgave everything and took care of his father on their behalf.
Then, one week, granddad was sick, and dad made sure he ate well and took his tablets. I remember I came home from school late in the night and went to visit him. His breathing was slow. He smiled up at me and held my hands. I whispered to him, he responded with nods here and there. Then, I asked him to tell me what happened between him and my grandmother and why the rest of the family neglected him. He didn't say anything. Then, he told me he will tell me everything the next day. I was glad. I was looking forward to the next day. Finally, I'll hear this story no one wants to talk about. I bade him farewell and went off to my room.
Grandpa breathe his last
In the morning, I woke up, did the dishes, and was preparing the meal so I can give it to him. Dad walked up to me and broke the news. Grandpa is dead. No, but he promised, was the only thing I said to myself. I lost my chance of ever finding out what the riff between my grandpa and the rest of the family was about. I hated my grandpa for not keeping to his words to me. I had to let it go, and forgive him.
Today, doing that research brought all the memories back. I remembered how he always told me how beautiful I am, and how he would get married to me if I wasn't his granddaughter. I remember how he used to exchange words with dad most days when there is nothing to eat. I remember how he use to sit outside watching everything that is going on around him. I remember those days when he was hale and hearty and how drinking had caused him to depreciate gradually until he died.
I don't know what was eating my grandpa away, for it wasn't money, he has his pension judiciously paid at due dates. I don't know if it's that story that has remained a mystery to me that ate at him.
I remembered everything today. The memory hurts like hell. I didn't think it will still hurt but it does. Maybe, I haven't forgiven him hard enough. May his soul rest in peace.
What about your aged parents?
I hope that no matter what happened between you and your parents, you won't let them suffer in their old age. I hope you will care for them, and not neglect them. They may have been annoying, but, they were the ones who supported you, and cared for you while you grew. Take care of them.