Hello beautiful motherhood community, I hope you are having a wonderful start of the week, I wanted to share with you a personal topic, but I didn't have internet all day. So I'm doing it today.
English Version (click here)
I wanted to talk to you about the distinctions, discrimination or even unhealthy extremes in which children are exposed, when they are girls or boys, that is, putting limitations on them because of their sex. In my childhood as a child, I lived since I was born until I was 7 years old with my grandmother and my aunts, she was the first granddaughter and first niece, so I was really loved and spoiled by them, being a girl, well normal, they put me in beautiful dresses, They even made me participate in the carnival reigns that they organized in the neighborhood where we lived, I have slight memories of that, there are plenty of pictures hahaha, but I always had more inclination to ride bikes or skateboards, I liked more the physical activities that gave me some challenge.
I also liked to look pretty, but it was not something of real importance to me, then when I was 7 years old they took me to live with my parents and my two brothers, one was 6 years old and the other 13 years old. My mother was not a woman to dress up so much, she worked a lot so it was not a priority to dress up or spend her time on banalities, so I did not have that kind of examples, my father, on the other hand, if he was the classic manly man, manly and a little macho, but with me it was different from it would have been another father, my younger brother and I were only a year apart, my father used to make my younger brother do "manly" things like repairing the car, beating cement, gluing blocks, masonry, in fact making blocks, sowing, repairing things around the house and he would call me to do those activities as well.
English Version (click here)
He always told me: "you learn too, so you don't depend on any man", referring to the fact that these activities are specific for men, but that I could do them too. The truth is that I valued these things very much from my father, because he taught me and I witnessed that we can all do the same things, no matter what sex we are, I grew up with this mentality until I got to know the society, and there began the problems, in high school, my classmates began to see me as someone different, I was not concerned about my appearance and I was not very interested in makeup and stuff, I was only dedicated to study and play sports, I played basketball at that time and was not liked by the girls, they began to call me nicknames that made me feel bad, because for them I acted like a boy, so they were raised more feminine, delicate, concerned about their appearance and I did not fit in their world.
As I matured, I realized that I can simply be me, with my own characteristics, my own tastes and my own identity, without thinking too much about whether these are women's or men's things, and I should not be ashamed of that. When I knew I would have a girl, in a world where girls should be feminine, delicate and men should be strong, they should not cry, I decided to raise my daughter out of those retrograde parameters, she will be what she wants to be and feel proud of who she is, my duty is to instill values and principles, what I did not want is not to feel limited by being a girl or not, we can all do and devote ourselves to whatever we want, no activity should be qualified by one gender or another.
English Version (click here)
When Luna was growing up I used to wear pants more than anything else, but it was because she was too active and was more comfortable to be able to do and undo, I was very criticized for that, they told me to put more dresses on her, and I did, but only for certain occasions that merited it, so they were mostly pants, she had more mobility and comfort, plus I felt more secure that way, in short, I don't keep an eye on what she is or is not as a girl, I just let her be, without exposing her to my prejudices or my fears or even my own limitations, Luna's personality is totally different from mine in many aspects, she talks a lot, she wants to be in everything, she wants to stand out, she likes to participate in everything, she is not shy at all, I think she doesn't even know that word hahaha, the only thing we have in common is that we are sentimental, we have a big heart, We are empathetic with each other, the rest, I am quieter , withdrawn, I find it hard to feel confident quickly and she is the opposite haha, I love that about her because I feel she can be herself without fear and there is nothing freer than to be able to express ourselves naturally and I want to continue like that.
Of course, if I had a child in his place, I think I would have focused more on teaching him that it is okay to feel, if he wants to cry, if he wants to express his emotions, give him a safe place to do so, so that he does not think that expressing or externalizing an emotion is synonymous of weakness, on the contrary, it is brave to raise our voice and express how we feel, it will not make him less or more man, it will make him human, a human who will have the tools to manage his emotions and be a functional adult. What I want to get to, is that I think we should not put limitations to children from an early age based on the fact that one thing is for a girl and another for a boy, and I am referring to their activities, because there are boys who are valet dancers and girls who are karate dancers, I do not think there is anything wrong with that. What do you think about it?
Las fotos utilizadas son de mi autoría y las imágenes fueron editadas en CANVA
The photos used are my own and the images were edited in CANVA.