When do we say THANK YOU, and how do we APPRECIATE our children? Talking from my own experience.
As a mother, your roles come up differently towards your children especially when you give birth to more than 1 child. You should love your children equally and appreciate them differently. All children you give birth to can not behave in the same way and manner. We have the choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. A mother even if you are not educated, must still have the sense to know how her children behave and operate especially when she has more than one child. Now let me talk about my own experiences with my two daughters.
I have two daughters, the first child is 14 years old and her name is Blessing and the other one is 5 years old and her name is Sophia.
Do you know that I spentmoreh time with Sophia the 5-year-old child more than her elder sister? Why is because I felt she was a child and she would need more of my attention than her elder would need my attention. But I never knew that I was making a mistake and also I was creating room for hatred in my first daughter's heart.
I came to notice that whenever I want to go out of the house to visit somewhere or go to work, my little daughter Sophia doesn't feel comfortable that I'm leaving the house. Now I kept noticing that thing many times and then I asked Sophia what the issue, why she always cried and felt uncomfortable whenever I went out, Sophia told me that her elder sister doesn't play with her while I'm away and she always shouts at her in every small thing. At first, I became angry with Blessing for acting like that to her kid sister but that same day, I couldn't sleep I was thinking and having lots of thoughts, asking myself lots of questions to know why Blessing should be behaving in such a way towards her baby sister. Then the following day, I started putting things into consideration and I will tell you how
When I play and kiss Sophia the 5-year-old baby, I will intentionally watch Blessing to see her reactions. I noticed that Blessing felt lonely and cheated, I noticed Blessing was feeling like I do love her kid sister more than I love her. Now to me, you all know that a mother loves all her children. But to blessing and as an immature baby that she is, she's innocent in her thoughts too
But it's left for me as a mother to change the way she feels and think about the whole situation. Now see my own mistake here, I felt like the blessing didn't need my attention much more but her sister needed it more than her, I thought that the baby was just a child and she needed to be played with always, pampered, and be more 99 per cent attention too than blessing.
I thought Blessing was now growing up and she may not see the play and stuff as really important to her as she's already growing up so fast. I never knew that I was making a mistake. Blessing is the one who needs the attention most and not Sophia because the reasons so is that; Sophia can easily cry her way out to me if she wants something from me, but Blessing can not do that all the time. If I don't play with a blessing as I do to Sophia, blessing can be hidden things from me aside from her sister that she revenge unnecessary jealous anger towards her kid sister. If I don't create a strong bond between me and blessing, whenever something borders her, instead of telling me as her mother, she will rather go tell her friends. And we all know how friends are, friends may give you bad advice or mislead your innocent mind. Ok, I just remembered something that happened eight months ago, the very first time Blessing saw her menstruation, do you know I was supposed to be the first person Blessing was supposed to tell? But Blessing kept it to herself until the next day when I found out that my daughter had started menstruating because I saw the blood stain on my bed. I called Blessing and asked her when the menstruation started, Blessing told me that, she confirmed that it started yesterday I asked her why didn't she tell me, and she said nothing. Hmm if I don't act fast as a mother and correct the error and the negative impression, by the time she gets into a relationship, she may also keep me in the dark. So I started playing with her, kissing and tickling her, we started doing hide and seek with her, and she gradually started releasing herself to me, and then to her kid sister. Whenever I go out and come back home, the little Sophia will rush to me and say. Mummy Aunty Blessing played with me and she didn't shout at me.☺️
APPRECIATE YOUR CHILDREN DIFFERENTLY.
Appreciating your children is one best things a mother should do always so that when the child grows up, she will appreciate everything someone does good in her life. But when you don't have love and show appreciation, how can you give out what you don't have?
Do not use commanding tunes on your children whenever you send them on an errand. You have to understand that the fact you gave birth to them doesn't mean you should command them anyhow. Learn to know when to use a commanding tune for your children and when to beg them to do something for you. I was under the motive that I was their mother and they had to follow my instructions and do anything I asked them to do they did not deserve to thank you and appreciation from me, but I was wrong in my doings. I was supposed to be thankful to them and be specific about what I'm thankful for. Before I realized my wrong, I used to send my first daughter on an errand using a commanding tune because I felt she was my daughter and I could send her anyhow I liked. She will be crying most time about how I am sending her.. Sometimes in the process of getting my work done at home, she will end up damaging something. One faithful day I was on a video call with a friend I met on a social platform. I never knew he was observing the way I talk to my daughter, especially the firstborn. On a very good day, the man asked me a question saying how I communicate with my daughters. At first, I kept mute for a while before I could reply to him. At first, I asked him a question before I answered the question he asked me. I asked him, why did he ask me such a question. He said because he has observed the way I spoke to my kids especially my first daughter, that he does not like it. He said I should learn to be appreciative of her and be thankful for whatever I asked her to do. I held to his advice and began to work with it. If I send my daughter to get a job done for me, I always appreciate her and I am specific about what I'm thankful for. Due to this reason, my daughter is always happy to do even more for me. With this, my daughter will grow up appreciating her children and others.
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All images used here are mine