When hubby first told me there was a possibility of us going on a road trip I immediately said yes! I mean, I haven't been on a vacation since 2014 and we've never traveled as a family of four, but, when plants shifted a bit I got really worried about how this would turn out. See, hubby had some business to attend in another city, so, being a short week cause of a religious holiday we planned to go all as a family, all good, then, work thing became a bit more urgent so he had to leave earlier and we'd catch him there later, cause of transportation logistics. So he left on Sunday, the girls and I were supposed to leave on Wednesday.
Preparing for a road trip involving kids can be quite a challenge, add to that, having to do it alone while tending to the kids and working a couple of days at the office, cooking, cleaning, I mean I had my hands full, Nights were difficult cause normally hubby and I take turns for baby sleeping duty but could've been way worst, starting Saturday night cause my eldest woke up a few times crying, I think she wanted mommy so...
Hubby had to leave at 6:00a.m so, he couldn't say goodbye to the girls, note that, is the first time in three years and a bit over half that he stays in a different place for the night, excluding seven nights Mya and I spent at the hospital and the night Maggie was born (yep, thanks COVID!) We've always slept under the same roof. I had no idea how was I going to tackle the night, my guess was to keep both girls in the same room so I could be available if any of them needed me, I didn't love the idea all that much but the sleeping dynamic is still a bit of a mess here, so, I decided, after I saw how the day went, to try and keep each one in their bed, Mya was tired from the walk with her grandfather, so she had dinner and watched a few youtube videos before falling asleep, Maggie ate her dinner, and played a bit with her toys before I took her to her crib for a bottle and a lullaby. That was pretty easy until they decided to wake back up, Maggie first so I had to make her sleep again, when I finished, my back was killing me, I mean, the girl is big and a bit chubby, I laid in my bed and I think I sleep around 45 minutes before Mya woke up, for her bathroom run (thank God she does that!) And called me, so I woke up, but I was too sleepy and well...
Monday morning was fun, Maggie decided to take a chocolate milk bath in her Playard, I laughed so hard, her face was priceless when I saw her, jumping in the milk puddle, pure joy. Having to spend 8 hours at the office when my girls are both home (Mya has the whole week off from school) is not the way I wanted these days to go, but, there wasn't much I could do about it, so I left the girls with my mom, and went to work. In all honesty, since I finished early all the things I needed to do, work-related, I took advantage of the quiet time to do a bit of writing, considering the lack of a good internet signal on the road, I didn't want to miss a day of the #HIVEBLOPOMO, so, I drafted a bit more and then started a list of things I needed to take on the trip.
I normally make lists when I'm going on vacation, and since this is the first one with kids, even more so!. But, I left the list at the office as I left in a hurry...
The afternoon went easy, the girls were calm and happy playing as I washed a few more socks and underwear, essentials for a trip if you ask me. Mya's cough was coming back, as the weather is acting up a bit crazy if you ask me, so I started the treatment her pediatrician recommended for her to have a nice holiday. As parents all we want is what's best for our children and that means we can put our desires and needs aside for their well-being, that's why I spent Monday night keeping a tight eye on Mya, as I could tell she wasn't feeling all that great, she was crying quite a bit and her breathing was weird, I panicked a bit and my head was pounding, I got anxious cause obviously if she was getting sick the trip was going to be called off.
There's something about a mother's instinct when we feel something is off, it probably is. Mya's night went really bad as she was agitated and waking up every hour or so until around 6 am when she finally fell deeply asleep, her breathing normalized and tiredness beat me, so I fell asleep as well. We were supposed to go to the girl's grandma first thing in the morning for them to spend the day together while I finished getting things ready.
My husband, his mom, and his grandma are all asthmatics, so when my mother in law saw how Mya was breathing (Still agitated and also, her heart was beating extremely fast, while at rest) they advised me to take her to the medical center nearby, to rule out something major so that we could go with peace of mind on the trip... So obviously I took the advice and went with her and my mother-in-law. While we waited for the doctor to check on Mya she was being herself, laughing and playing around, she didn't look sick at all when we went in and the doc started the check-up, the one that looked like needing a doctor was me, as I noticed her oxygen saturation below 92 (has to be 98 or above to be perfect). Since the start of the pandemic everything related to this little device used to give me the creeps, but seeing the number not going up was beyond terrifying, the doctor told us she was having difficulty breathing and she might need oxygen, so we had to go to a bigger hospital, so we did... There, after a thorough check-up, x-ray, and some blood work, the doctor diagnosed her with early pneumonia.
When I started drafting this post the mindset was completely different, a nice way to preserve the memories of the preparations for the girls' first trip, how quickly things can change, shift in a completely different direction.
We called off the trip, for now, I think it was for the best, and I'm thankful we caught this early, and now my baby has her treatment and will get well really soon. Amazing thing how kids can have trouble breathing one day and be almost completely fine the next, obviously cause we took her to professionals who did what was needed at the moment.
As parents, we must keep our children safe no matter what, we have to be able to provide for them, not only money-wise, but everything they could need to grow and have a happy childhood, keeping them healthy within reason, cause they are going to get sick, all humans do, but, it's our job to make it go as smoothly as possible and that implies to comfort them when they feel more vulnerable, even when we are as scared as they are, or even more. I have yet to learn how to manage my nerves when the girls get sick, it affects me so much that I block myself when I'm not sure of what to do and get so frustrated for not being able to make it go away right away that I get upset with myself and take it out on everyone who's around, I know that's not good, but, very few things in life can prepare us for what parenting is, sometimes trial and error is the only way, that's why a proper support system is always a great thing to have, more experienced people can provide us with great knowledge and advise, always establishing limits.
