When will it end?
Continually I asked it to myself as I wiped my daughter's body with a wet hand towel. A sponge bath to lower her high fever of 40°C. I was exhausted with the weeks of sleepless nights caring for my daughters.
It started last week of November 2023 when Jewel, my type 1 diabetic daughter, was caught with coughs and colds. Again, ending the year with struggles and trials in life. As I had experienced every time she got sick, her blood sugar would rise also. December 14, 2023, as I was so scared it would happen again, we went to a Pediatrician to look at her and give her medications.
She was getting better thankfully after 7 days. But as the days for her medications were done, December 22, her cough got worse because she ate a slice of mango during our Church activity, and she was secretly eating the chocolates I keep inside my drawer. This time it was worse. She would wake up three to four times every night because of cough and throw up each time.
This happened for 2 weeks and because of this, I felt too tired to wake up early to prepare for work. Jewel had lost weight already and I could see her face so tired and weak. In the third week, every first cough she had was like a nightmare for me. She had a hard time catching her breath, and sometimes it was like she could not breathe for a couple of minutes. This scenario made me so scared that I could feel my body shaking every night, afraid she could not get her breath back.
January, on the second day of the third week, we went to another Pediatrician and Jewel was given a higher kind of antibiotic, salbutamol, and cetirizine. Jewel's blood sugar rose to 430 on the first night of taking her medicine. The next morning it was 320, and 540 in the afternoon. She told her father when she was in 540 that she felt her hands and legs shaking. So, I decided to add 1 unit of fast-acting insulin to her evening shots hoping it would lower her blood sugar to normal.
That night, before she got to bed she vomited again. Inside me I wanted to give up, I was so very tired and I could not think very well. I was not able to give her her snacks that night because of tiredness. When her cough attacked again that night it woke me up to help her breathe and remember I hadn't checked her blood sugar. When I checked it the number made me more nervous that night because it was only 37.
I checked again thinking the glocumeter was wrong, but it became 35. I rushed to get the Yakult and let her drink it. She asked for two biscuits because she was still hungry.
I did not go back to bed until her blood sugar became normal.
But the next night it was more scary because it was 25 even I did not add her insulin. I woke up because she was coughing hard again.
What if she did not cough that night? What if I was not able to check her blood sugar and give her food? I realized that God is still good even in these trying times. He still spares the life of my daughter.
Now, Jewel is getting better but Janneah had her turn. High fever, colds and cough the same as Jewel's. As of today, I still wake up at midnight to check Jewel's blood sugar. I still help Janneah breathe when coughing.
When will it end?
As a mother, and as a father, the battles in life will continue as long as I live and I have them. Tired? Yes, I am. I cried this previous night, but by God's Grace, I will not surrender.
Life is Hard but God is Good!
Thanks for being with me on this blog. With love, mommyjane 😘.