Joy and happiness are what the birth of a child brings to parents and the entire family in every home. In our African country, the inability of a woman to give birth to a child after a few years of marriage most often generates issues in some families. The one-time sweet home and marriage might turn to sourness, and to avoid having a broken marriage due to childlessness, some people end up adopting a child, which is very fine if you ask me. However, before now, adoption was not really an embraced tradition in my country, but with the way things are changing now, many people are already practicing it, unlike before.
My child and me
In my community, precisely on those days, people will mock you for adopting a child. They will call you names, discriminate against the child in some cases, and leave a stigma as well. This is why you will see some couples spend many years in marriage without a child, and they will not consider adoption. Some people see it as taboo. One elderly man once said that our Cultural norms and traditions do not support adoption. The very day an Anglican church bishop adopted twin babies in my home town, the news circulated everywhere. While some people loved his actions, others criticized him. He adopted those children just to give them a good life, not because of his wife's inability to procreate.
There could be reasons why some mothers dump their children in motherless homes,but is it even humanly justified? The reason could be that the pregnancy came through a rape scene, some due to a lack of resources to cater for the child; some teenage mothers lack the capacity to nurture a child, and thus, many children are motherless babies. However, anyone who cannot provide for a child should not intentionally get pregnant in the first place. Some fortunate children in motherless homes are being adopted by some couples while they grow up in family settings, which is to their advantage more than those left to bond with their fellow children in motherless homes.
But then, it becomes a concern when a once-awaiting mom maltreats her adopted child when she finally gives birth to her own biological child. Edit was my roommate at the university. She married in our second year but was unable to give birth after many years of marriage. When the pressure from her in-laws and mockery she was receiving became too much, she pleaded with her husband for them to adopt a child. The husband concurred, and she adopted a two-year-old son just like the child in the picture above. They loved this child, cared for him, and enrolled him in a standard private school. I can say that things have become so rosy for them since the arrival of that child. Edith did not stop trying to conceive, even in the presence of the adopted child. She was always visiting a gynecologist and praying that God would bless her womb. Miraculously, she conceived last January and gave birth to a bouncing baby girl in September of the same year. It was a huge celebration for the family, and I was so happy for her. But then, it saddened my heart to hear about the recent development. According to Edit, her husband withdrew the adopted child from the private school and enrolled him in a government school. There is now discrimination. Edit herself told me she is considering returning the adopted child to the motherless home if the people in charge will agree. I am not in their home, but obviously, from the hint of their actions, the now 7-year-old adopted child has been going through hell. They already told him that he was adopted, and I feel for the innocent child. As a friend, I have given her all the sermons I know. Why the change of mind because she now has her own child? At least this child can be supported by her family instead of being treated otherwise.
I was in a motherless home sometime last year.
Some orphanage children with me in one of my visit
I found out that Most motherless homes in Lagos State, Nigeria, where I reside, really take care of these kids. I saw the bonding among the children; they were being sent to school, and they fed good as well. However, for any of them who would be fortunate enough to grow up in family settings, I believe they would prefer that. Children are blessings, and one thing motherhood has taught me is to always care for children wherever I come across them. If I am to be Edit, I will still treat that adopted child as my child despite being blessed with the fruit of the womb after the adoption.
I will appreciate your thoughts in the comment section 😇
Please note, all pictures are mine