Just the other day I had a hair cut. I was getting bored of the undercut, but mainky because I cut it wrong one time and the uneven line is getting on my nerves. So I am planning on having it grow firts, then I'm going back to the undercut. It's much more manageable that way.
My daughter was there at the salon, waiting for me to be done with my haircut. When she saw the result, she thought she wanted a pixie haircut too. It was getting a bit late so I just told her we're going to have it done Friday, after her boxing session.
And come Friday, she collected the promise and off we went to the salon right after we left the gym. I love how confident she is with her choices. She was the one who chose the designs. I gave her a couple of choices and she really stick to the choice she made.
I used to think I'll have trouble styling her hair because most kids want their hair done before leaving the house. She went through that phase, but now, she's on to another phase. She wants a simple hair that does not need too much time to be styled.
Tatay and I always remind her that her beauty does not depend on her hair, or the clothes she wear. It comes from within her. And because we always tell her that, I think it has an effect of confidence and freedom in her.
She can freely choose what to wear. Sometimes she goes all girly and wears a dress with a cute bow. Sometimes she chooses her pants, shirts, and her Bumblebee shoes. I like that she does not feel restricted with the norms that society set. More importantly, I love that she is able to practice that sense ofnl independence and decision making.
I know it's just hairstyle and clothing, but it is a big deal for a kid. As early as now, she knows that she has the freedom to express herself through her style. Letting kids decide for themselves about these simple things empower them. They practice the habit of thinking and deciding.
It is really helpful, actually, for a mom if the kid already knows what she wants. Whenever we have to go out, I am not as stressed out as before because I don't have to decide for everything and everyone in the house. Each one of us has their own chores and responsibilities and we all work as a unit. When I set a time for leaving, we are able to follow the schedule because I don't have to carry all the decision making. It is true what Charlotte Mason said in her boom Home Education:
"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children."
It's just a bit scary though. Teaching her to be independent also means teaching her to not need me in the future. And the ultimate marker that I have succeeded in teaching her is when she does not come to me anymore for help. I know she says that even when she's in college she's still going to wanna sleep beside me, but this is really part of parenting. Therr will come a time when they will not need us anymore, and we need to be okay with it because even if we wanted to, we can't be here forever.
It's funny how far my mind has wandered off while waiting for her in the salon. I'm just here crocheting, but my mind has gone so far in the future. I take photos of her every once in a while. I'm just amazed at how her personality is unfolding right in front of me. Motherhood indeed is a gift.
