I consider that my life is divided in two, the woman before the birth of my son and the woman after the birth of my son. When I look at the past, I remember little, my years of study and learning were simply not worth it, it was a reset in my life. A warm September came into my life, a beautiful and healthy baby boy, my child, a boy, just as I wanted him, just as I had dreamed a few weeks before (I saw him in my dreams, coming across a lake in a small basket, marked by the light of a huge moon). From the beginning, I noticed that he really cried a lot but... What newborn child doesn't cry?
La vida siguió su curso, empecé a notar que, de acuerdo a mis tantos libros leídos, mi niño ya debía voltearse solo en la cama, eso no sucedía, pensé ¿será “normal” esto? Sí, claro que sí – me respondía a mí misma-, cada niño tiene sus tiempos.
Hablaba poco, no me decía mamá (mi mayor angustia), sin embargo, logre ver que, mediante juegos, yo lograba captar su atención y así, con juegos, logré que un día dijera “MAMAMA”, ¡GUAO QUE LOGRO! Luego todo fue transcurriendo “normal” hasta que llegó la etapa de la escuela.
Life went on, I began to notice that, according to my many books I had read, my child was supposed to turn over in bed by himself, but that was not happening, I thought, is this "normal"? Yes, of course it is - I answered myself -, every child has his own time. He didn't talk much, he didn't say "mommy" (my biggest worry), however, I managed to see that, through games, I managed to get his attention and so, with games, one day he said **"MOMMY", WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT!** After that, everything went "normal" until the school stage arrived.
EN LA ESCUELA.
Ya en vida escolar, mi niño era un poco retraído, sí jugaba, pero prefería hacerlo solo, hablaba poco (incluso su maestra pensaba que no hablaba), sí lo hacía, aunque con dislalia, solo que en casa o con quien él quisiera. Le costaba mucho los trabajos manuales, muy difícil tomar una tijera, rasgar, cosas tan simples que quizás pudieran parecer innata en los niños, para mi pequeño suponían un desafío y él sencillamente, se negaba a hacerlas.
Pero había otra cara de esa moneda, cuando algo le gustaba, o la maestra le agradaba, aprendía súper rápido. En la escuela recibía elogios y reconocimientos por su facilidad para aprender contenidos y dar exposiciones.
Pero el niño seguía con comportamientos pocos convencionales, como llorar mucho de repente, negarse a escribir y así, fue cuando una maestra me dijo ¿usted lo ha llevado al psicólogo?
AT SCHOOL.
Already in school life, my child was a little withdrawn, he did play, but he preferred to do it alone, he spoke little (even his teacher thought he did not speak), but he did, although with dyslalia, only at home or with whomever he wanted. It was very difficult for him to do manual work, very difficult to take a scissors, to tear, such simple things that might seem innate in children, for my little boy they were a challenge and he simply refused to do them. But there was another side to that coin, when he liked something, or the teacher liked him, he learned super fast. At school he received praise and recognition for his ability to learn content and give presentations. But the child continued with unconventional behaviors, like crying a lot all of a sudden, refusing to write and so on, that's when a teacher told me, have you taken him to a psychologist?
Su Diagnóstico. Mi duelo.
Como madres, pensamos en nuestros hijos como seres hermosos, perfectos, desechamos toda conducta “extraña”, amparándonos en que “eso es normal” “todos los niños tienen su tiempo” ó, escuchamos a la familia “tu primo era así y míralo no era nada, solo flojera”. No, no es así, decidí dejar actuar de acuerdo a experiencias ajenas y pensé en él, algo le pasaba a mi niño.
Su diagnóstico fue claro, AUTISMO LEVE o también llamado ASPERGER, lo sabía, me repetía a misma, lo sabía, pasé por un duelo al pensar ¿que hice mal? , ¿Sería culpa mía?
No, no es culpa de nadie, el autismo es una condición que nos llega, nos toca a la puerta y cambia todo, a partir del momento que supere mi duelo, empezaron las terapias, entender que mi vida iba a estar dedicada a un ser muy dulce e inocente, intentar guiarlo sin asfixiarlo, estar cerca, ser su roca, guía y brazos abiertos siempre.
Your Diagnosis. My duel.
As mothers, we think of our children as beautiful, perfect beings, we dismiss all "strange" behavior, taking refuge in the fact that "that is normal" "all children have their time" or, we listen to the family "your cousin was like that and look at him, it was nothing, just laziness". No, it is not like that, I decided to stop acting according to other people's experiences and I thought about him, something was wrong with my child. His diagnosis was clear, AUTISM LEVE or also called ASPERGER, I knew it, I repeated it to myself, I knew it, I went through a mourning thinking, what did I do wrong? Was it my fault? No, it is not anyone's fault, autism is a condition that comes to us, it knocks on our door and changes everything, from the moment I overcame my grief, the therapies began, understanding that my life was going to be dedicated to a very sweet and innocent being, trying to guide him without suffocating him, being close, being his rock, guide and always open arms.
Del duelo a la aceptación.
Del autismo he aprendido tanto, que en próximos post les iré contando tantas experiencias, las ayudas con las que he contado y el aprendizaje que me ha supuesto esta travesía en mi vida. Soy sincera, no puedo “romantizar” esta experiencia, no soy una madre “especial”, soy una madre con una misión especial, con miedos, con necesidades de mujer que se vuelven difíciles (mas no imposibles) de satisfacer.
Han pasado once años, ¡que montaña rusa! Risas, llantos (más llantos) pero sobre todo, mucho amor y tratar día con día de entender que la “normalidad” a la que todos se refieren ¡no existe! ¿Qué es ser normal? La naturaleza vibra en colores, si la mayoría de las mariposas son amarillas, una azul ¿no es normal?
Basta de etiquetas, Dios, en su magnífica creación, nos hizo hermosamente diferentes, aprendamos a cuidar de esta hermosa diversidad que como seres humanos, hijos de la creación, también nos abarca.
From duel to acceptance.
I have learned so much from autism, that in future posts I will tell you about so many experiences, the help I have had and the learning that this journey has brought me in my life. I am honest, I cannot "romanticize" this experience, I am not a "special" mother, I am a mother with a special mission, with fears, with women's needs that become difficult (but not impossible) to satisfy. Eleven years have passed, what a roller coaster! Laughter, crying (more crying) but above all, a lot of love and trying day by day to understand that the "normality" to which everyone refers to does not exist! What is normal? Nature vibrates in colors, if most butterflies are yellow, isn't a blue one normal? Enough of labels, God, in his magnificent creation, made us beautifully different, let's learn to take care of this beautiful diversity that as human beings, children of creation, also embraces us.
Un abrazo querida comunidad, nos vemos en este camino.
A huge dear community. see you on this road.
- Créditos / Credits.
--Imágenes / Images: www.pixabay.com
--Traducción / Translator: Myself whit help of www.deepl.com