Oh man, I don't think I've laughed so much on HIVE. These were well worth putting together as a collection for all posterity. Thankyou to all the Hivers who lost a few brain cells trying to make words fit the rhythm of a limerick. You are the true Hive heros. Much respect!
There once lived a farmer named Bilbo
In his garden he refused to till, though
Mushrooms and toadstools sprouted from his land
A bountiful harvest that filled many a hand
The secret to his success no one will know
There was once a man named Fred
Who for getting laid set aside a new bed
A huge failure he turned out to be
As for years no girl did his loins see
Till the bed aged and mushrooms sprouted
There once was a man named Fred
who was a bit wonky in the head
some said it was the ‘shrooms
that grew in his shoes
but his wife said it was the manure he spread
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who had no capability of rhyming or even managing to keep a rhythm
But one time, he got really high
Thanks to spore-bearing fruit the name of which he forgot
So he worked hard and wrote a limerick that said
There was a Hiver who is a Fungi Lover
New limericks, she wanted to discover
Offering money for limericks about Mushroom
Sadly, limericks don't really have much room
But, for her money, I started to hover
I made a soup with what I thought was portobello
Little did I know, things started turning yellow
To the influence I caved
And the munchies I craved
Eventually, I was found naked in a park eating Jell-O
Some blow the mind
Some are beneficial
and nicer than treacle
Fungi is just so much fun
Even though it’s often grown on dung
There was and old woman
Who sprouted fungi in the dark
She thought it a lark
because others had to forage or find it on tree bark
Exotic, delicious or toxic she was always sold out by five on the mark
James was a purposeful fella
who dodged rain neath a large portabella
when the sun shown again
he stepped out with a grin
and bit into his natural umbrella
Not high on shrooms yet
'cause mine not stroganoff
Went to the forest for some more
but there wasn't mush left
In truffle I am, 'cause not high on shrooms yet!
The was a man in Portobello who was old,
He wanted to be rich and break the Mold,
He searched for treasure west and Yeast,
Found the Spot where he expected it least,
and got into Truffle, worth its weight in gold.
There once were magic shrooms on the hill,
that did not contain any chlorophyll,
they did have some psilocybin,
which made everyone see a twin,
until they got force-fed the reality pill.
There once was a cute-as-a-button Shroom,
who met a stalky guy in full bloom,
He was sedcued by a plant-eating smut,
She gave a yeast infection to that mutt,
Meanwhile, the shroom had Ergot a groom.
Then the floodgates opened, and I spent an entire day lost in my head rhyming in limerick stylie like an insane person. Stop now if you're feeling a little dizzy too.
There once was a girl called Amy
Whose cooks up a storm rather gaily
From shikake with spice
To enoki with rice
Her mushrooms never fail me!
There once was a girl called Kirsten
Who grew mushrooms in her kitchen
In her pots and pans
And cupped in her hands
She offered the fruits of mycellium!
There once was a man called Walt
Who drank mushrooms mixed with Yakult
He tried them with fetta
Found them no better
And then he tried them with salt!
Would you believe that I didn't win the contest? The one that one was a limerick multiverse ballad, which I thought was cheating - a limerick traditionally isn't multi verse! Grr. I'm such a sore loser! But as promised, 5 HIVE to 
And if you're in Australia and want to buy some mushroom products, here's a $12 off coupon for your first order at Life Cykel. To accept, use my referral link here!
With Love,
The Fungi Lovers Community: Home of #FungiFriday
Are you on HIVE yet? Earn for writing! Referral link for FREE account here!
