About a year ago I read a book called 21 Life Lessons @ 21. It is a compilation of personal stories and advice from 21 prominent South Africans. While the book was originally written aimed at the youth, I felt that it has some pearls of wisdom that are brilliant, regardless of your age.
My favourite was written by Susan Booyens and is a list of 22 things she would pass on to others. I like the fact that she made the list 22 points, she's the kind that isn't afraid to colour outside of the lines.
Here are a few of them that resonated with me and I've added some of my own as well.
I've been making lists for years and especially when it comes to tackling challenges that can seem overwhelming, this is particularly true. Just recently I had to do this to make sure all my ducks were in a row when I seemed to have a million things to do and couldn't see the forest for the trees so to speak.
Being able to write out the steps and then prioritize them was crucial to me being able to accomplish everything within the allocated time frame. Sure there were some things that presented problems along the way, but each problem was swiftly dealt with in the same way - by asking "What's step 1". Visualizing the project or challenge as it gets broken down into it's parts makes it more manageable and removes the overwhelm because you can focus on each stepping stone and then tick that sucker off with satisfaction before moving on to the next one.
This one is something I'm still practicing regularly and having to consciously make an effort on. I am extremely hard on myself in many regards and I tend to give others far more grace to make mistakes that I am willing to allocate to myself.
Life is ruthless sometimes and we often find ourselves in precarious situations asking "How the hell did I end up here?" Sometimes the situations are no fault of our own, sometimes they are entirely of our own making. It's what you do to recover from these that actually counts. I'm learning that beating yourself up continuously over decisions that were perhaps not of the most sound judgement is not actually productive or going to help you get where you WANT or NEED to go.
Find the lesson and use it to catapult you forward into action. Make the necessary changes, take the required steps, constantly re-evaluate and adjust as you need to - you will reach your destination more efficiently and you won't feel so shitty when you get there.
I love the simplicity of this one. It is so true when you get to the essence of it. Life is short, cut out the little things that add or increase irritation. My mom used to have a saying similar which I chuckle at whenever I use it - "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom". She was the kind of person that wouldn't tolerate irritating seams. She would cleave that kind of thing out with little mercy and she would have no shame in telling people about it too.
Obviously there's a comfort factor to this when you take it literally, like I have worn some pretty irritating socks seams and I've never had the inclination to turn them inside out, it's probably an OCD thing, but maybe the comfort is worth letting go of it having to be how society dictates. Yes, I think so!
This concept is something I have battled with this last year. There are always going to be situations and circumstances (whether directly affecting us or situations outside of our sphere of influence) that we have little power to change. I have fought with this so much in the past and yet, the frustration I have experienced as a result and the inner anguish I felt have only led to a negative attitude and the feeling of helplessness.
It is a difficult concept sometimes when you really want to affect positive change in your world, the world, our world in general, but we can really only change ourselves, our attitudes towards things, our own moods, our own movements, our own actions.
It can be particularly difficult when dealing with emotive or controversial issues, but ultimately I am having to learn that some things we can change and some things we just can't. If you are in a position to affect positive change then do so, but if it is outside of your control, sometimes you actually need to get real and just accept the things that you cannot change and focus on the things that you can change within your own world.
Being kind doesn't cost anything and together with being polite, it can mean the difference between a terrible day and a manageable day for someone dealing with hardship or can turn a mediocre day into a great day for someone who is simply going through the motions of an average day.
Do not underestimate your ability to make someone feel special. It doesn't take much to reach out and show some interest in something that someone is passionate about or if you see someone looking nice today, tell them that. Don't make it creepy or weird by being awkward. Just be nice, it goes a long way.
So those are five things that I think we can all employ to make life a little bit better for everyone. Change starts with one small step.
If you would like to buy the e-book version of 21 Life Lessons @ 21, it is available online at www.21lifelessons.co.za for $12 USD (International) or R150 ZAR (South Africa).
Be awesome today.
All artwork has been used with permission from the book publisher
