Good day great hive minds, I'll love to think that everyone is fine, happy and doing well ♥️☺️
I always want to believe that when we meet people, there's always a purpose for that meeting even if it may be for just few minutes. We have the people who fill you with joy and purpose or the ones who empty your soul and drains your energy.It's either they are there to take from, add or just watch you progress or fail and same thing happens vice versa.
Having a friend differs from just knowing someone, a friend is someone who overlooks your past, accepts you for who you are now and plans a better future with you but someone you know may just be a church member or Co worker etc. But in any situation it may be, I try to study and analyse humans as fast as I can. I'm not very good at keeping friends so, when I notice any ongoing relationship between you and I, I ask myself three(3) questions;
1). What will I gain from this person? ( Physically, mentally, socially and otherwise)
2). What will I be impacting I to this person? (Mentally, physically, academically and otherwise).
3). Where will this relationship lead to? And what foundation will it be built on?
I try my best to impact positively into the life of anyone who becomes close to me in the best way I can but as the world may be, not everyone seems to be like that. There are certain personalities to avoid to make the year more peaceful when it comes to friendship.......
1). AVOID ANYONE WHO DISRESPECTS YOUR CORE VALUE:
Disrespect for someone’s core values is a sign of unhealthy relationship. Not all friends needs to agree with each others values and beliefs all the time. But what’s imperative in any good friendship is respect for each other’s core values. I’ve seen individuals who call themselves friends bash themselves on things that shouldn't cause a scene just because they don't belief in same thing or have same perspective.
For instance, a person who likes the single, dating life calling his friend who is married “unmanly” for refusing to flirt or cheat with other women because he values his marriage. Or an Atheist telling his devoted Christian friend that he thinks his friend’s time spent at prayer groups is a “waste of time”.
At this kind of moment, who is right and who is wrong creeps in and both will refuse to any other possibility. That kind of attitude will not only create tension and resentment in your friendship.If you have a friend who disrespects your core values, it’s time to reconsider whether this friendship is worth pursuing or not.
Unless your core value is something you can allow others toy with and along the lines hurting yourself. But I know that, your value is imperative and worthy. No “friend” should ever make you feel worthless or ashamed for what you regard as a value.
2). AVOID ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERYTHING:
I once established a relationship with a roommate in my 200 level who was competitive about EVERYTHING. I felt her constantly checking me out and sizing me up. Who's stomach is flatter? who's legs are more straight? She was stuck to working hard at comparing the two of us from every possible angle.
One time, she was on the phone with her boyfriend and she asked him, who do you think is more beautiful Jennifer or me and he said whatever he said and I'm guessing he said her coz she smiled so much and was happy😒. It was at that moment i knew that this friendship ain't gonna work out and I just avoided her.
I'm sure we all know one who is competitive when we see one right? So If you have a friend who is aimed at outshining you in every aspect of life, then it’s obvious that they do not think they can learn anything from you. They can’t bring themselves to feel genuine joy or happiness for your success if it somehow passes theirs.
Trust me, that kind of attitude can become very toxic and result in conflicts, jealousy, quarrel and hurt feelings as it did in my “friendship” that I mentioned earlier. A friend is one who accepts you for who you are are plans the best for you so please avoid such individuals.
). AVOID PERSONS WHO HOLD GRUDGES:
Nothing is more damaging in a friendship, infact In any kind of relationship for that matter, than the poison of old grudges. There is no friendship where
Conflicts and misunderstanding doesn't occur. No matter how wonderful it may be, we're all humans and no one is perfect but it is how we choose to handle these minor setbacks that determines how healthy our relationships will be.
There are people who easily forgive transgressions like milk sliding down a glass and move on. And then, there are the people who will hold onto every disagreement you've had like glue or things they feel you did wrong but you didn’t even know you did wrong, or the things you've accepted you did wrong but had apologized for already. Things that can be ignored and should have been forgotten, but somehow fermented in their hearts and turned into anger that they like to eject from time to time.
If you've ever had a friend or anyone close who likes to hold grudges, maybe then you'll understand what I'm trying to explain and how such relationship can be annoying and painful at the same time. You just don't know when they'll unleash the anger they've been boxing up over the most minute error from your part.
And one funny thing about such persons is that, no matter how much energy you try to invest in explaining, they never want to listen but just want to keep saving grudges like money 😒.
Please, once you have a feeling that you've tiptoed around them, by noticing that you apologize more than necessary, and trying to guess what they're really mad at for no reason, justove because this doesn't even sound anything close to a healthy friendship. Or does it?
Thanks for reading to the end guys....I appreciate ☺️♥️