Try to forget what objects you have before you - a tree, a house, a field, or whatever. Merely think, 'Here is a little square of blue, here an oblong of pink, here a streak of yellow, and paint it just as it looks to you, the exact color and shape, until it gives you your own impression of the scene before you.
- Claude Monet -
Recently I was dismayed, but not surprised, to learn a close friend of mine is struggling with life; the happenings of life, weight that builds upon one's shoulders and the seemingly obscured path forward. It's sad because much of the adversity she faces is outside of her control and, in my opinion, no woman should have to go through what she has.
Life leaves impressions upon us; good and bad, positive or negative and those impressions can add weight upon one's shoulders, mind and heart but also cause us to seek solutions, enjoy ourselves, feel pride, find courage and deal with or ignore problems and adversity. We live in a constant state of change influenced by what happens in our lives.
I'm worried about my friend, she knows this, and that worry came out in a conversation yesterday...a lecture and unsolicited advice thinly veiled as a conversation I guess. I hate unsolicited advice personally, however I blurted it out and it came from a place of deep care. I think she knows this also.
I spoke about goal setting, very small goals, as a way she can inject a little positivity and she liked the idea. I set her homework which made her laugh a little and today she advised she's completed the day's homework and felt good about it. That's what I intended...Set small goals, actively pursue them and when achieved one has the benefit of having done something productive and having achieved the task. Do this enough and it becomes a habit, do it some more and those things begin to touch at their edges and join up which promotes better thoughts, attitudes and actions. It's a cycle designed to arrest a downward spiral.
It's very easy to see our problems and fall into them but often difficult to see the light, the good things, embrace those and create life around them, the way we wish it to be.
I suppose that's what I hoped to impart to my friend. The shadow falls upon us all at times, but it takes light to make shadow which means light is still present...I think it's important to remember that, to look for, and see, it and to allow oneself the ability to accept it rather than simply cloaking oneself in the negative aspects of adversity.
I told my friend it's ok to cry, that I want her to. I asked her to sleep more, to find structure in her day, set tiny goals and actively seek to attain them. I told her it's ok to fail, be imperfect or a fall into a heap. I also asked her to see some light around herself, the good parts, that they may leave an impression upon her. She promised me she would do so, and when she promises it is done; she's dependable like that.
Life isn't all about sunshine and leaving footprints in pristine beaches on the shores of the Great Barrier Reef like in my picture; clouds form, the sky darkens and rain falls. But, like Claude Monet suggests, we hold the ability to form our personal impression of life, to affect it, and determine what life impressions we wish to embrace or release.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image in this post is my own - Palm Cove, Cairns, Australia