Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.
- Ayn Rand -
Earlier today, I had a discussion with someone I've not had any interaction with for well over a year; it surprised me that it happened but not in a bad way, just that I'd not expected it. Questions were asked and answered, things were said, and I left the conversation feeling good about it; just knowing that person is thriving, albeit with the usual challenges we all face and a few specific to them, felt good and the feeling has stayed with me.
In the conversation I spoke of honour, integrity and courage in respect of me applying these elements to my life. There's others of course, but in each of us there's core elements which the rest are built upon and for me these are three such things.
It became apparent to me some time ago, that the concept of honour and integrity, the meaning of it, is specific to the individual. With our experiences being different, often unique to us, it's a big ask to expect that they could be applied to all of us in a wholesale way. Me upholding my concept of honour may disadvantage someone else and so they may see it as a compromise of honour when observing it from their position. It's the same with integrity and other such personality traits and behaviours, the use of which are specific to me when I apply them.
Having honour and integrity means a great deal. It is those things that allow me to find courage and it's the latter I've needed in my life. No single element stands out though, there's so many things that have combined to create what my life has been and is today; without one others don't work as well.
I like to think I've made something of my life and despite many having tried to break it, that's yet to happen. I'm resolute and steadfast in many aspects and no one, literally no one, could ever apply more pressure to it than I do myself - That's the nature of me.
But after the conversation with my friend I came to a small epiphany, for lack of a better word. You see, the same honour and integrity I use in a positive way can trip me up sometimes.
Sometimes the manner in which I employ honour and integrity, the courage I find and the way I steadfastly hold to it, can work to my detriment and that of the person I'm trying to show respect for. It's complicated I guess, and maybe I'm not explaining myself well. I guess people see it as stubbornness where I see it as integrity, my own integrity.
I can be rather black or white in most things; grey areas are not a space in which I like to work in as they feel uncontrolled, undefined and indistinct.
When the honour-integrity-courage-resolute-steadfast paradigm is applied - which with me almost always is - well, sometimes things go awry. Is it wrong of me to be so strictly black and white oriented? No, of course not, and to be honest it's not in every single matter that I am. Could I be a little more flexible? The answer to that is a resounding, yes! But all I can ever be is myself, the man-person-human I have been shaped into by others and myself. It's the same for you.
I've had a lot of things taken from me and people try to do so and fail too...But in every case, all throughout my life, I've retained one single thing and that's me. I exist.
Along the way I've learned to strive to be my best version although I fail at that all the time. I have learned to accept that others will think and act commensurate to their own perceptions, needs and wants and that's ok. I've learned that people will see in me whatever ways they choose to see, good bad or indifferent and that's also ok. I've learned that perception truly is a persons reality but that perception is rarely completely accurate. It's all just humans being humans.
I've also learned that if I was to compromise my ethos of honour and integrity and the courage, resoluteness and ownership that they cause me to deploy then I'd be a fraud and my life would be different.
I'm not a fraud, I am the real me.
There's nothing else I can be other than me and combining all the things I've been through in life, the adversity, challenge and failure, good times and bad and the spectacular successes I've had is why I've developed a code as such, the code of G-dog. It's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But neither is anyone, even you.
I work hard to be true to myself, to be honest with myself and to embrace a deep sense of ownership, responsibility, honour and integrity. It's not easy, but to do otherwise would be to be a fraud.
I don't have children and, in truth, that's probably a good thing as I may have made a terrible father; we'll never know I guess.
But I wish I did have children, one at least. It's the thing in life that I regret above all else. Why? Well I feel, and maybe this is hubris talking, that I have a lot to impart to a child and in the society we move into now...those who will be here in the next years will need every help they can get as society breaks down and decays. I have skills, a lot of skills, and I have a lot of collective experience that I feel a young lad or gal could benefit from...But none will get I guess.
I can't summarise my life's experiences and what I've learned through them in a single post, and probably no one cares anyway, but there's a few elements that I can present, just some words that I've taken on board, expanded upon and used in life; these and others are in my life-toolbox.
Ownership. Consistency. Effort. Discipline. Honour. Respect. Manners. Courage. Sacrifice. Responsibility. Integrity. Steadfastness. Love. Truth. Caring. Thought. Action. Determination. Resoluteness. Persistence. Generosity. Forgiveness. Passion. Failure. Humour. Understanding. Kindness. Empathy. Innovation. Resilience. Bravery.
I am not a handsome man, nor am I the most intelligent, humorous or witty. I am not smooth or suave, the life of the party, wealthy or outstanding in any way at all. I'm just a flawed and fallible man. However, I'm not a fraud. I have values and stick to them though it may be difficult and limiting at times. I apply those words listed above, and more, and I work hard to be...well, just me.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Any images in this post are my own