Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw -
After a conversation last week I was left wondering a thing or two. The person with whom I was talking is one who avoids conversations about his own demise and anything that revolves around it like the set up of a legal will, power of attorney or power of enduring guardianship, the latter two of which are actually more about life, or being alive still, I should probably say. He finds it uncomfortable to think about death like so many others, especially his own death or anyone around him.
I think it's a little irresponsible to be honest, but that's a different post. What got me thinking is that the fellow shuns any thoughts or talk about death and yet doesn't do a very good job at embracing his life.
He's one of those people who floats along making no plans, sets no goals and allows happenstance to dictate or determine what may come next. There's no investments, no savings to speak of and no ambition to do very much at all other than bumble along reactively. He's deeply in debt and just about everything he has is on credit. His health is poor due to bad eating and exercise habits and he looks...well, he resembles a grey blob of nothingness most of the time, physically and emotionally.
It's his prerogative though and all the best to him for the path he's chosen to follow. It's not a viable and sustainable path though and it seems a rather dull way to spend life.
As I contemplated this scenario my thoughts drifted to life in general. Life, in my opinion, is a series of segments all combined. I've said before that it's a series of moments all lined up in a row and I believe it which is why I try to get the most out of the moments I have; all the moments. But the segment thing is a little broader. I guess I mean, we seem to have segments or sections of life, chunks, that run for a period of time then, for some reason, end and transition to another.
I'm not quite sure if these segments can be designated solely by time but imagine: Infant, toddler, child, adolescent, teen, adult, middle age and elderly. I think it's fair to call them segments of life. It could also be said that various situations in life could be called segments: Military service, a job or career, a relationship or serious physical or mental illness...something that lasts for a period of time and which permeates throughout a person's life for that period. Either way, I think these segments of life are critical to our lives in general.
The various segments of life provide the experiences, lessons, knowledge, understanding, success, failure and ultimately wisdom that helps us proceed to the next with, hopefully, a better chance at making that period or segment just a little better than the last.
Imagine a person who has gone through a period of drug dependency, bad choices and worse outcomes. They may continue in that fashion to what is probably their early demise and that often is the case; but what if they find it in themselves to push through, find the strength and ownership to seek rehabilitation? They move into a new segment of life and, possibly due to their experiences in the last, make the next a little better - probably a lot better in the case of a rehabilitated drug user. Just a little example of how life can section itself and how those sections or segments can work for us.
For me, I can look back because I'm old as the fucken hills, and clearly see those segments of my own life and accurately pinpoint the change from one to the other, and the reasons for it.
At the time I wasn't able to, I guess because I was in the moments not looking at them objectively and with the perspective time, experience and wisdom gives. I'm happy to be able to see those segments now though, the parts of my life, and how I've progressed from birth, through childhood and into adulthood and, of course, how I've progressed as an adult through the various segments of my life to this very minute.
I don't know what people on Hive or in my offline life really think of me, but what matters is that I know what I think of me.
I think that's why it's so important to look back upon my life, the segments, and know where they transitioned and why. In knowing who I was at those past points, helps me create who I am in the present and it's the present that will shape my future for the better.
All of these thoughts started with a chat about death and I think that's pretty cool. Death is inevitable and I'm not one to shy away from it.
No, I don't want to die right now or any time soon and, no, I don't dwell upon my own death, or that of those around me. It's actually the total opposite. I dwell upon and focus on my life! Knowing I'm going to die eventually, tomorrow, next month, next year or whenever, helps me find a more enjoyable vibrant and colourful life right now - I see the value in it, the need to shape it into what I wish it to reselmble, because I understand and acknowledge it will eventually end.
I think that allowing life to drift by and exerting no influence upon it to design and create a better version is irresponsible; people do it though, and that's ok, it's their prerogative. I also think failing to think about and prepare for one's own death is irresponsible too, but I'll do a rant post about that some other time.
Life is a gift that should be treated with respect, care and attention. If left unattended it'll still occur, but with some nurturing, a little effort, ownership and responsibility it can be pretty amazing.
Transitioning from one segment of our lives to the other and carrying forward the lessons of the past seems a reasonable way to get it done, don't you think? Which would you prefer? Do you design, create and shape your life the way you wish it to be or are you happy for it to happen by accident or chance? I'm not talking about having everything structured, days stringently managed, here; I'm talking about the big picture, life in its entirety and your thoughts, attitudes and actions that can make it better, or worse. Feel free to comment below.
If you don't want to comment that's ok, just get out there and create your life as you wish it to be.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image of the juicy mandarin segments are my own, and I fucken ate the shit out of them after I took the photo.