Most people thought that being rich, beautiful, famous, and accepted is the way to happiness. If that is the case? then why is there news about celebrities and famous people committing suicide? They are already at the top where everyone wants to be.
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Then some people will say God is the way ( Don’t worry I will not discuss religious beliefs here, but this is true if you do it the right way which I am not discussing in this topic.) but they are still unhappy.
So what makes people happy?
Based on the dictionary, happy means
hap·py
/ˈhapē/
adjective
adjective: happy; comparative adjective: happier; superlative adjective: happiest; suffix: -happy
feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.
In this case, Happy is a feeling right?
The truth is, we really can’t be happy at all times, that is impossible. Why? because we are emotional human beings. We get affected by what we see hear and feel. We have brains which tell us that everything is not OK at the moment, So it is really impossible to be happy all the time.
So isn’t the right question for this article should be “How do we keep ourselves happy most of the time?”
For the past 4 years, I have made myself Happy most of the time, that wasn’t the case before. Before I have learned how to be happy most of the time, I have struggled a lot. I thought that material things, lots of pretty women and lots of friends to hang out with can make my life happy, I was wrong.
ANALYZATION
Then I started to think what is wrong, why do I still feel empty? It is because I am alone, (don’t worry, this is not about relationship issues 🙂 ) Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of options to have as a partner, It just so happens that I still feel empty even when I am with someone so I tend to leave them.
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So I analyzed my life, What seems to be the problem? First that I have found out that I am going out with the wrong girls. I always thought that what I like are pretty powerful women who earn their own money and will not depend on me. So I always end up with the woman who I am fictionally attracted to.
The second thing that I have Analyzed is that I am really lazy, I want money but I don’t want to work for it, I like easy jobs, I don’t like jobs that make you go to work every day.
The third is my lifestyle, I go out at least 4-5 times a week, drinking and partying with my friends. most mornings, I am asleep.
The last thing is that I am getting older, I was already 42 at that time.
REALIZATION
I always leave girls because I was not attracted to them in the first place, I know that I prefer powerful girls with money because I am lazy, I don’t want to work, I just want to enjoy life.
If you want money, you have to at least work or be that smart to minimize your work
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I am drinking and partying a lot because I am really sad. I am like shortening the time that I am awake. So I will not think about the reality.
I am getting older every day and I am not accomplishing even a minor thing.
Now that I know the truth about myself, what do I need to do? a major change is not the answer because it is so hard to change. What I did was I accepted the reality.
ACCEPTANCE
I have accepted all these things that are true about me, but is that enough? will that make me happy? Yes! it did make me happy. So what I did was I only looked for my ideal type of girl, I did not focus on her work I did not care how much she earns.
And since I am lazy and I don’t want to work, I started to make plans on how to make ends meet and what jobs I can do without getting bored. ( By the way, I am a graphic artist, web designer, facebook manager, and basic video editor ) I started to get clients online, I only took the easy ones. I also invested a little money in crypto and NFT games (Managing it won’t cost me too much time) and I turned my hobby into a business (gardening). When you are doing what you love, that is not a job.
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Partying too much can waste a lot of time and I have accepted that I have wasted so much precious time of my life, partying and sleeping instead of doing something for my growth.
I can’t bring back wasted time grieving about my past mistakes won’t correct them.
Now after the first three steps, you need to arrive at a decision. Do you like the reality in your life? are you fine with it? The only two options that you have are to be contented or to change. If you are not satisfied with your life you need to work harder. Don’t hope for a miracle, even God tells us that we need to work. Only by achieving your goal, you will feel happiness.
But I am not that kind of guy,
CONTENTMENT
So I ended up with this girl whom I really like. After 4 years I am still with her. I don’t care about her social status, I only care about how attracted I am to her. When you are with the person whom you really like, everything will be fine, there will be fights but leaving the relationship will not enter your mind. It is because you are happy with her.
This is not a bit of relationship advice, but pick a partner who you like to see before you go to sleep and who you want to see when you wake up. Also, be with someone that attracts you physically and sexually, don’t go less than your standards or you will just end up cheating or unhappy.
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I became content with what I earned, The truth is I just worry too much. I was never broke, I just want too many things that I don’t need. I always try to live within my means. If I cant afford it, then it is not for me.
If before I used to wake up at 4 in the afternoon, Now I am already awake at 4 in the morning. Even though I am lazy, when you wake up early in the morning, you have no other choice but to keep yourself busy. I always start my day with a prayer and I Planned out this routine of what to do every day. I always try to finish my work as soon as possible so I can spend more time playing and ending up the day happy instead of tired and stressed.
Conclusion
Happiness is easy to achieve as long as you accept what is true and be comfortable with what you currently have. Don’t rush things and start trusting God .He will provide you what you need, There is no need to be stressed.
Don’t waste your time searching for Happiness, analyze your life now and know what is wrong.