When 
The title of this community itself reminded me of when I was still slacking inside my cocoon and how I stepped out of it to a beehive. It was difficult at first, but due to my determination to try new things in life, I made it and ventured confidently into the beehive.
Taking down the memory lane...
I was a person who didn't like socializing with other people, not even with my relatives. Even smiling at them seemed too tough. And my lips would always form a downside curve. Probably because I hated my life back then and I wanted to change it if only I could. But I was too young and couldn't do anything about it.
People seldom saw me walking outside our home and inside the village. I didn't even know the names of the individuals I came across on the streets, not even their faces. I would often ask myself, "who is she/he." Every time I stepped out of our house, I seemed to be a stranger in a strange land, and only my relatives and neighbors know who I am, and so they are to me.
Our mother taught us to respect other people and not to interact with visitors at home so I tend to hide inside my room whenever relatives and parents' friends visit us. I would just hide and coil inside my room until they leave our house. Sometimes I would pretend to sleep whenever someone entered my room and wanted me to go outside.
Self-care seemed to be out of me as I never cared about dressing beautifully, so sometimes, I got bullied by naughty kids at school, even my relatives. I was ugly, I accepted it, and that was one of the reasons why I always stayed inside my cocoon, and that's how I became introverted from a young age. I fear the world and what people would say and think about me. It seemed to me that I was living in other people's minds and I was always concerned about their words and their feedback.
When I graduated from college, I had a lot of dreams and goals but my mind was reluctant to pursue them, even in applying to companies I desire to work with. I didn't like being in the spotlight too and only wanted to remain under the radar. I even hated oral recitation back when I was a student as my mouth trembles as I talk in class due to nervousness and shyness.
Those days I told myself that I couldn't pursue higher dreams in life as I lack self-confidence and was afraid to step out of my cocoon. When I started working, I always considered the future and what would happen to me or where I would work after my contract as applying for jobs was so tough for me. Either I will fail due to low qualifications or in the interview as my mind usually gets blocked or my mouth gets sealed and out of words when facing a panel. So practically, I wouldn't resign from my current job without a certain replacement.
I was full of dreams but reluctant to step out. Until uncertainties hit me badly that pushed me to step out of my cocoon. And due to my determination to change my life and achieve my goals, I tried to step out of my cocoon slowly and cautiously stepped inside the beehive. I tried to reach farther and took the risks, and engaged with new faces in new places.
The introverted one slowly evolved and even learned to speak out in the crowd. I wandered around the beehive to acquire new experiences and obtain more knowledge. That's when I felt real freedom I never felt inside my cocoon. I may still have baggage on my shoulders, but being outside of my comfort zone made me feel free from everything and everyone.
Sometimes, it takes courage and determination to see the real world and realize that the beehive is a far better place than inside our cocoon. We wouldn't know who we really are, what we really want, how we want our life to be by just staying inside our comfort zone.
It's easier said than done. But once we learn to break our walls and step out of our cocoon, we would feel the real freedom we desire. We would learn how to appreciate our flaws, love ourselves, be comfortable in our skin, and be real. We would learn how to look at a positive perspective in every negative situation. We would acquire more wisdom as well as lessons that would mold us into who we really are.
And in our journey inside the beehive, we would meet beautiful people that would teach us life lessons, and more experiences that would help us grow as a person. At the end of the day, we could say that stepping out of our cocoon and venturing into the beehive was worth the risk.
So if you are still stuck inside your cocoon, don't hesitate to step out. How can you achieve your goals in life if you would only allow yourself to be wrapped with your cocoon?
That's a thought to ponder. The world is beautiful that you should discover. So step out and let yourself wander and wonder, and be the real you!
Thanks for reading.
#selfimprovement
#ocd
#ocdb
#introvert
#cocoontobeehive
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