Your self-confidence is built on your life experiences.
For example, if you were good at your studies— your academic confidence would build up. But if you fail to get into good colleges or top universities, it gets destroyed.
It hurts when you fall. But if you stay down, you will forget how to walk.
The thing is, life doesn't wait for you to get back up. It keeps going. Nobody cares if you had a setback or had very few opportunities growing up. Everyone moves on and expects you to move on too. If you can't, you will fall behind.
Many of my friends who were average in their studies understood this crucial lesson. They picked up practical and social skills and got high-paying jobs. Some started a business.
They reached a better place because they learnt this lesson early in life. If you are not good at one thing(studies), find something you are good at(sales, communication, art, marketing, managing people etc.), or become good at something through practice.
Eventually, everyone who decides to move on in their life will find a better place.
Then there are people like me. I had a setback and couldn't move from it. I was stuck in one place while everyone around me moved on in their life. After 4-5 years, the gap became so big that I lost the will to start again.
Then I started reading books. It helped me to understand that I am not unique. People had a 10x, 100x harder life than me and still did great things. I can at least do good for myself.
Life isn't a race. You don't win if you run fast. You can't win because there is no finish line. There is no place where you stop and say, that's it, I am not doing anything anymore.
The only finish line is when you are old and not capable of continuing, or you die a sudden death. No time to think!
You have to continue to live through whatever circumstances you are in.
Some people ruin their life even after doing everything right. They go to the best colleges. They get into the most high-paying positions. But they choose the wrong person to marry and lose their sanity. Even after doing everything right in their career, they have a messy life.
Some people grind so much for decades that they lose interest in high-paying jobs. They just want some sense of relief and peace in their life.
Some people make a series of mistakes and ruin their business.
Life isn't a race. You don't win when you reach a milestone. Life is a marathon. You have to keep running. If you stop and rest under a tree, thinking you quit the rat race, you have to run longer and harder to reach where everyone is.
Or, what I like is— walking. You can think and enjoy your surroundings and wander here and there a little. People will be miles ahead of you sometimes. But you won't be tired or sad while walking. Walking is peaceful!
When you fall, don't get up to start running. Get up to walk Forward!
Six Months— To Become The Better Version Of Yourself
Usually, people have setbacks because they try to achieve big goals in little time with little experience and very few skills.
For the first 25 years of my life, I thought running was impossible for me. I wasn't built athletic. Then, one day I started jogging with my friend. Did it consistently for a few weeks. Learnt to control my breath. A month later, I was running one km daily.
A couple of months later, I could do a few km. Nothing extraordinary. But my belief shifted from I could never do it to— I can do it with some practice.
It was one of the major mindset shifts in my life.
So, I tried it again with writing. In 2020, I wrote daily for three months. In the first month, I could not find content ideas, grammar was bad, and there wasn't any structure or flow in my articles.
After 90 days, I was confident I could write an average article of 1000 words. My writing improved with inconsistent practice. It could be 10x if I was consistent.
In 2019, I tried to learn web development. It felt hard. So, I gave up. Tried again in 2022 and been learning it for five months. Built a few websites and cloned some apps. It feels so good to see yourself improve.
If you work on something for six months and are consistent and focused, you will discover that you can get good at almost anything. You just need some curiosity to learn and the will to put in more effort.
In a couple of months, you shift from being doubtful to confident. Every day you repeat the process, your confidence in your ability to perform increases.
Just imagine what's possible if you were doing something for 365 days. You have found a new career or a hobby you can get good at; maybe you can make some side money.
What if you could do something for three years? You cannot force yourself to do something daily for three years if you don't like what you are doing.
If you are doing a job and getting paid for it, it's a different thing. Else, you can do something for years only if you are crazy about it. Then, you will find ways to be creative. You will build a community or be a part of a bigger community.
If you do it for five years, you will become an expert. If you do it for ten years, you will become a master. Then you can help people who are starting. That's what most creators do.
Ten years' goals sound ambitious and fun. It's fun to imagine where you could be in ten years. You are thinking about the rewards, not the process.
The toughest is the first six months. Once you are past the self-doubt phase, you build a habit. Once you are past one year mark, you build some confidence. Once you are past three years, you become creative and ambitious!
That's how six months of hard work, consistency and focus change your life— you become the better version of yourself!